A Bowl of Rice

Notice

2005-08-09T18:08:00.000-04:00

This site has been moved to http://spaces.msn.com/members/laowill/

Telephone

2005-08-06T14:24:00.000-04:00

Me: Hi, may I speak to wx, please?
Other: I think you are a little bit late. She's back to China now.
Me (silence): When did she leave?
Other: She left on Sunday.
Me: Oh, she told me she would leave on later August.
Other: I hope you have your email.
Me: Yes, I have. Thanks. So she's never gonna come back?
Other: Never say never. But she has moved out of here.
Me: I see. Well, thank you very much.
Other: You are welcome. Good luck.
Me: Bye.

Journey to the West

2005-08-05T03:39:00.000-04:00

I have been back from the trip to the west for a couple of days. Compared to the wild wide west, the silence of this small town depressed me the moment I stepped off the bus. I didn't wanna do or say anything for the last few days. Everything looks so familiar, but at the same time, very strange.

Rocky Mountain

The whole trip was wonderful. Everyday was a new experience. I had the best steak and pan-cake in Calgary. After the hiking in the beautiful Rocy Mountain, the hot spring and massage were relaxing and satisfying. I was chased by a coyote when biking in Jasper. It became the legend afterwards during the trip. In kelowna, we went to winery to taste wines. It is hard to put on words the feeling of fine wines wrapping my tongue while the glass reflecting the sun shine in the farm. It was a combination of laziness and elegance. My final stop was Vancouver. It is a city built with coffee shops. And the brand of this city is obviously 'Starbucks'. It is also a stylish city in that everyone has its own style of dressing, talking and living. The individuality also contributes to the tolerance and diversity of this city.

This trip benefies me not only because I got to see another mountain or another city, also in that I learnt more about myself and my needs. Welcome back.

Checklist

2005-07-17T18:53:00.000-04:00

Here is the list of stuffs I am taking during my trip to the west:

mp3 player
camera
battery
charger
clothes
umbrella
a book
passport
tickets
cash and bank cards
scandle
notebook
wishes from my dear friends

Before this trip, I have already learnt a lot by preparing for it, about the places I am going, the people living there, and the most importantly, the friendship. I feel lucky that I have friends who care about me, so that I am not bothered by thoes who don't want me to be happy. I feel sad because two of my best friends are about to leave Canada when I come back from this trip.
Bon Voyage, to me and my dear friends.

Recipe for Friendship

2005-07-16T13:33:00.000-04:00

Dear Kimmy wrote me her secret recipe. I would like to share it with my friends.

Fold two hands together
And express a dash of sorrow
Marinate it overnight
And work on it tomorrow

Chop one grudge in tiny pieces
Add several cups of love
Dredge with a large sized smile
Mix with the ingredients above

Dissolve the hate within you
By doing a good deed
Cut in and help your friend
If he should be in need

Stir in laughter, love, and kindness
From the heart it has to come
Toss with genuine forgiveness
And give your neighbor some

The amount of people served
Will depend on you
It can serve the whole wide world
If you really want it to

On Tuesday evening, my two best buddies in town came to the boat and had dinner with me and my house mates. One of them is leaving for the States to pursue a PhD while the other is going back to China soon. So that would be the last time we had dinner together. Here's the dishes I cooked for them that night (in course order):

Crispy tofu;
Red pepper boat;
Italian Sausage;
Rice stick fried with onion, chicken and bok choy;
Salmon soup;
Garlic lettuce salard.

How About An Ice-Cream

2005-07-12T12:30:00.000-04:00

Everytime I walk by the ice-cream store, the owner would come to talk to me. It's amazing for me because growing up in the city I am used to the coolness between people. I feel good to his kindness, and presured at the same time. I feel like I have to buy his ice-cream to show my friendliness (maybe it's eventually the way he does business, who knows). But the fact is that I don't like ice-cream, the sweet and cold taste always makes me wanna jump. However, I would buy his ice-cream everytime I return from grocery shopping. Sometimes the idea of paying-back to people's kindness makes me feel good about myself.

If you are on my msn list, you probably have noticed the change of my account to 'Pigdog Blue', literally translated as 'zhu gou bu ru'. It is typical Chinese English, meaning worse than a pig and a dog. A same question has been thrown to me for times bout why I changed to this account. Nothing much, just to amuse myself and my friends.

Yesterday a friend told me it was his worst day in life ever because he lost two friends in the same day. He couldn't help the sadness. I think it was good in the way that he got to experience the feeling of sadness.

Sadness is an instinctive ingredient in human being. We are all born sad, crying, and screaming. In some part of China, if a baby is born without crying, the father needs to spank it right after it is born till it cries. The cry and scream of a baby means a new life. And for the life ahead of him/her, he/ she needs to learn to get over the instinctive sadness, learn to enterntain himself/ herself, and maybe more, to amuse his/ her fellow beings.

So enjoy every feeling you experience because they are all precious, including sadness. But since we are born sad, we need to learn to balance it in order to complete this life.

Mr. Lonely

2005-07-11T11:37:00.000-04:00

I am deeply convinced that I am a loner. The more people surround me, the lonelier I feel. Yesterday I went for a boat trip with my house mates and their friends. I appreciated that I had the opportunity to a boat trip. However, I have to say, the loneliness offset the excitement.

My landlord said I shut down the conversation with others. But I am not interested in their life stories. And I am sick of telling people the cliche of who/ what I am.

Maybe I really belong to the temple, as my friend said.

Terrifying Because in London?

2005-07-07T19:31:00.000-04:00

Four bombings, more than thirty dead, hundreds more wounded? In London, it is a terrifying, enraging, appalling act of despicable violence that must be immediately avenged. In Iraq, they call events like this "Tuesday."

William Rivers Pitt reminds us not to forget people suffering in the Middle East, when we send our condelence to Londoners.

Tens of thousands of people have been killed and wounded in Iraq by way of deadly bombings that have been taking place every single day. These Iraqi people are no different from the Londoners who perished today. Their skin is darker perhaps, and they pray to a different God, but they have families and children and dreams and they die just as horribly as their British counterparts. Yet they earn perhaps a few sentences on the back page of the paper, and virtually no comment from the members of the international community which ginned up the invasion of Iraq in the first place.
The world was warned about this, warned and warned and warned again. An invasion based on lies and disinformation, an occupation that grinds a civilian populace, becomes the perfect machine to manufacture terrorists who will happily die in order to see others die. The CIA calls what happened in London today "blowback." It is wrong, it is heinous, it is murder plain and simple, and it was as predictable as the sun rising in the East.
One thing is certain. The perpetrators of this bombing bear the responsibility for this wretched act, and bear the responsibility for the gross miscalculation that many have made in the past: A democratic society is weak and decadent, and can be easily pushed. Ask Hitler if that is true. A democratic society, once enraged, is the strongest force on Earth, and those responsible for this are going to find that out to their woe.
The other certainty: Mr. Bush and Mr. Blair bear the responsibility for this wretched act, as well. They decided in April of 2002 to start a war based on false pretenses, to fix the intelligence and facts around the policy, and now the whirlwind has come to be reaped. The blood that runs in the streets of London, and in the streets of Baghdad, Fallujah, Tikrit and Mosul, is on their hands.

Hunting

2005-07-07T09:16:00.000-04:00

My new roommate is native Indian. When he was telling me the exciting stories of hunting in the forest, my landlord said he also hunted "for fun". I understand people go to the forest and kill animals to feed themselves. But hunting for fun is something I feel disgusting. How can people sacrifice other lives to entertain their needs for 'fun'. Killing is no fun.

When I woke up this morning I heard the explosions in London, where my friends reside. Several days ago, there were protests in Dublin. A program called 'Maximun Explosion' last evening also showed me how aggresive we become.

Protesters are hero only when they have no other means to express themselves. I am with them because they are forced to march on the street. However, people nowadays really just march for fun. Every time they want to express something, they gather and walk on the street, even use violence. People all around the world are becoming aggresive and always ready to kick the ass, thanks to "Democracy".

I was planing a trip to London, but now I need to write to my friends there to make sure they are safe.

When I Got Drunk

2005-07-05T19:17:00.000-04:00

Slept in the Taxi driver's place, coz' I insisted not to tell him my address (Shanghai, Christmas 2003).
Some son of a gun used cigarrete to burn my face (Kingston, Canada Day 2005).
Some Parent used me to scare and discipline his child (Kingston, July 2, 2005).

Willboard June

2005-07-02T20:21:00.000-04:00

In June, I got some really good albums. If I really have to pick one from them as the highlight of this month, I would recommend Jamiroquai's Dynamite. Jamiroquai is the most known band of the acid-jazz movement started in London. Jay Kay, the key person in this group, is so talented. I especially like the song '7 days in the Sunny June'.

English:

Jamiroquai - Dynamite (21/06/05)
Keyshia Cole - The Way It Is (21/06/05)
The Offspring - Greatest Hits (21/06/05)
Foo Fighters - In Your Honor (14/06/05)
Family Guy - Live In Vegas (June 2005)
Gwen Stefani - Love Angel Music Baby (December 2004): I finally got this album. Every song is a bomb.

Chinese:

Fan Fan - One to One (03/06/05)
Victor Wong Pin Kuan - Me afterwards (28/06/05)

Mixed:

VA - Indie Pop (04/05/05)

Bagged and Tagged

2005-06-30T18:17:00.000-04:00

The second time I play this game. Thank the eloguent and kind Paul for tagging me.

A lifetime
I am afraid I would use a lifetime to know myself.

5 years ago
I was still a teenager who was buried in the happiness at the offer from Fudan University. Everything in the university was exciting and new for me. That's why they called us 'freshman', I guess.

1 year ago
I was trying to figure out my future and ended up relocated in North America. The year of 2004 is really a markstone of my life, when I said goodbye to families, friends and headed for a whole new world.

Yesterday
Another day was wasted. Now I am feeling bad for that.

Tomorrow
It's Canada Day!

5 snacks I enjoy

Chou Tofu (Stingy Tofu)
Chocolate Chip cookies
Chips
Peanuts
Walnuts

5 songs I know the words to
I tend to recreat lyrics when I don't sing with Karaoke machine.

5 things I would do with $100,000,000

Give 80% of it to my families;
Save the rest in the bank (I quite enjoy saving money);
Look for a better job, coz I would probably feel more confident then;
Go to restaurants without looking at the prices on the menu;
Check my bank account every night before I go to bed. I am sure that would make me sleep way much better.

5 locations I'd like to run away to

Internet
Any air-conditioned place
Not nature
N/A
N/A

5 bad habits I have

too serious
always late for something
tend to waste my time away
a loner
always think I am right

5 things I like doing

dining out
watching television/movies
walking and watching people
talking to people who enjoy talking to me
having showers

5 things I would never wear

tattoo
any clothes with shinny materials
leather
any tight clothes
jewery

5 TV shows that I like

Friends;
The Family Guy - Baby Stewey is my favorite;
Saint Seiya (圣斗士星矢);
Journey to the West (西游记);
The Yongzheng Dynasty（雍正王朝）;

5 famous people I'd like to meet
N/A, not very comfortable with meeting new people

5 biggest joys at the moment

The trip I am going to take in less than a month;
Blogging and receiving comments from my readers;
The new culture I am exploring;
Watching myself surviving in a new environment;
Forced to do something I don't like to do initially.

5 favourite toys

cash;
my bank cards;
my computer;
mp3 player;
plastic coffee cups I collected

5 people to tag
Last time I tagged 5 people, none of whom followed my tag. So I give it up this time.

Boss

2005-06-29T01:18:00.000-04:00

Dining in the Sleepless Goat was not easy when I wore a cap entitled 'BOSS' while the waiter's T-shirt announced 'You are not the boss of me'.

The Sleepless Goat is a local restaurant, which is collectively owned by the people who work there. In other words, there's no boss there. People in town are proud of this small local restaurant just because of this idea. It's amazing to see how people practice Communism and cherish the relative ideas which are gradually abandoned by so-called Communism countries. What's more, it opens right beside Starbucks, the defender of Capitalism.

I couldn't help looking around to ensure my 'safety' as I was really scared of the waiter's kinky dress. It was quite a hippie place where suit and tie was not expected. People might have been talking about either terrorism or drug. But they turned out extremely nice to me. Everyone smiled to me as if I belonged to them. I felt weirdly comfortable.

Finishing my lunch, I left some tips on the desk and rushed out. I was afraid that the waiter would come out to throw the money back and yell at me 'Don't give me the crap of Capitalism.'

Non-Shopping Day

2005-06-26T23:20:00.000-04:00

This week I came across the most ridiculous thing since I came here. I went back to the Future Shop to replace a product I bought there half a year ago. The manager there sent me back with a senseless statement that he felt threatened. I am still wondering how could I 'threaten' him in his place with his people standing behind him speaking his mother language. They didn't treat me fairly I think.

On the way back home, I was thinking I would stop buying consuming product like this, not just because the value was degraded but also of the fact that it caused me troubles like this. So June 23 was memorable for me as the Non-Shopping Day. No shopping, no bothering.

Moreover, I gave up on asking for justice again. Not everything would come my way in the whole life, I suppose. So I accept the unjustice or unfairness that happens on me.

Movie: The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants

2005-06-22T00:45:00.000-04:00

Surrounded by a pile of big action movies such as Batman Begins and Mr. and Mrs. Smith , I picked up the less famous one The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. I was almost taken away by the up-and-downs of these four pre-mature teen girls, whoes stories were connected by a pair of jeans they bought and shared.

Thanks to the movies like this, more and more people become sensitive and start thinking about their own lives. But I am sorry that I don't want my life so juicy. So to think or not to think? I choose to sleep.

A Man Slaved in the Bar: Same-sex Marriage

2005-06-18T17:04:00.000-04:00

My classmates asked me out last night. We went into a bar, where, coincidentally, another colleague was throwing a bachelor party for his friend. They locked a chain to the guy's leg. Yeah, after next week, he would be totally enslaved. I joked with him "Wise man don't get married. Once they get married, they become otherwise." I think his tongue must have been intoxicated and became thicker, coz' I couldn't really understand what he was talking to me.

I remember my friend told me before I came to North America the difference between American and Canadian. He said "when people disagree, American would take out their guns and shoot you to death while Canadian would talk you to death." I am not sure of the American part, but Canadian, especially drunk Canadian, really can talk. I was a little hang-over today but I can still remember we covered democracy, capitalism, nation-state, movie and etc.

When we were discussing Canadian politicans, my colleague initiated the topic of gay marriage, which was a very popular topic in Canada since December. He said his friend was going to have a gay marriage next week and he was his best man. I am fine with same sex marriage but there're some issues we need to work on before it's legalized. The underlying principle of gay marriage is that everyone has the right to get married, no matter of one's gender and sexuality. But according to the same belief, marriage should not be constrained at certain age or two people. A 10-year-old kid also has the right to get married. And monogamy couldn't speak for itself in front of this belief as well. Again, I think juvenile marriage and polygamy are fine. The problem is if the society is ready for them?

I was glad to see that another classmate shared with me the same idea that the whole marriage thing was bull-shit. Why do people need a certificate to justify their "love"? Why do people want to use a marriage to 'slave' the person they love? I know I am doing non-sense talk again. So please, hit me baby one more time.

Movie: The Interpreter

2005-06-17T19:32:00.000-04:00

I conducted an experiment with a friend with French Canadian background a couple of weeks ago before I watched the movie 'The Interpreter'. We spoke languages that the other didn't speak and saw how much we could understand each other. In this case, I spoke Chinese and he spoke French. It is said that one would understand as long as one listens carefully. Unfortunately, we failed. Without proper language training in the specific language, everything we said that evening didn't make sense to each other. The next step, we abandoned the languages. We started to communicate with gestures and body languages. Guess what? With practice, we understood each other gradually.

My point here is that after years of 'socialization', I become so dependent on languages that I almost lose the natural ability of expression.

One day when I was reading in my park (a quiet place I found near my house), a big bird flew over and stopped near me. I tried to greet it but I couldn't find a language that both of us could understand. So I had to ignore it. I asked myself since when the communication between me and other creatures beame problematic, even a simple greeting.

Besides the dependence on languages, another problem I have is that I have been trained to look for the difference since kindergarten. So skin color, gender, language, I try to locate as many differences as I could. That builds walls between people. I should start to appreciate the common things between different creatures.

Tolerate the difference, and focus on the similarity. That's the way to acheive peace, I think.

Dessert in the Forest

2005-06-15T20:39:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, my friends brought me to their cottage in the woods. Everything was wonderful except the annoying buggs. That's another reason why I am not in love with nature. Luckily we went boating before it started raining and that we had to head back to town.

Boat at the Cottage

Chip(the dog)and Garner Lake

The most beautiful encounter of this trip into the forest was Baklava, a middle-eastern dessert. Before I moved my fork, friends warned me of its sweetness, which I usually couldn't stand. Because of friends' repeated warnings, I was envisioning the taste of Baklava as I was wondering where to start. As a matter of fact, I found it not as sweet as what I expected. It was made with Phyllo dough, walnuts, butter, and sugar. After baking to perfection, a sweet syrup is immediately poured over the pieces allowing the syrup to be absorbed into the layers. The bitter walnut pieces added a special flavor among sugar, syrup, and honey. The Phyllo gave baklava a delicious crispy taste. I think the Baklava I was having was made from brown sugar and maple syrup so that it wasn't sweet to the extent that my scalp departed my head. The sweetness is 'perfectly adequat'. It must be a way to tell the quality of a dessert, I guess.

A debate between friends started on where Baklava originally came from. One insisted that it was Greek food while another said it was universal in the Middle East. After reading, I think they were both right. Baklava is of Assyrian origin around 8th Century B.C. Then it spread to the Mediterranean. With the advent of the Grecian Empire, it spread westward to Greece. There, Greek artisan bakers made a significant contribution - they mastered a method of rolling the pastry dough into paper thin sheets called fillo ("fillo" or "phyllo" actually means "leaf" in the Greek language). The recipe of Baklava was not perfected until Ottoman Empire. The cooks and chefs from diverse ethnic groups that composed the empire was recruited at Ottoman Palace. The interaction of different chefs refined the art of cooking and pastry-making of the Empire. Similar to ancient Chinese empires, the Palace always remained the top culinary "academy" of the Empire where different cookings communicated and learnt from one another.

In Turkish culture, walnut is valued as a symbol of weathy and the prosperity of families because they believe walnuts held aphrodisiac powers. This can also be reflected from the treature of walnut in Ugrian culture in Xingjiang province of China, where the people have their origin in Turkey. Because of the ingredient of walnuts, Baklava was baked only on special occasions only by the rich in Turkey. To date one can hear a common expression often used by the poor, or even by the middle class, saying: "I am not rich enough to eat baklava and boerek every day".

I felt lucky to have such a "luxury" in the middle of nowhere. This special treat accidentally match the way I remember the spelling of the word 'dessert'. I used to mix 'dessert' and 'desert'. Looking at the double 's' in 'dessert', I told myself 'dessert' was 'Something Sweet (SS)' in the 'desert', the middle of nowhere.

Dream on Boat

2005-06-13T01:08:00.000-04:00

Two days ago, my landlord invited me to his boat. Coincidentally, it was Chinese Dragon Boat Festival that day. Usually I would eat Zong Zi (or Rice Tamale), wear Hsiang Bao (or Sachet), and watch Dragon Boat race to celebrate this festival. This year, however, all of these are only tengible in my dream. But I finally got to play on a boat, which was my dream when I watched the boats racing at a young age.

This festival originated from a story of the famous ancient poet Qu Yuan. Disappointed at the government, Qu Yuan threw himself into the Milow river in his sorrow. Because of their admiration for him, the local people living adjacent to the Milow River rushed into their boats to search for him while throwing rice into the waters to appease the river dragons and fish so that they wouldn't devour Qu Yuan. From this point of view, Chinese people are so obsessed with food that they think everything (humans and non-humans) lives in this world for a common reason - food. Food can satisfy the God, the ghost, animals, ancesters, and ourselves of course. That's why every celemony and event comes with special food in Chinese culture.

I am not a big fan of sticky rice food. But having Zongzi and realgar wine is the tradition for thousands of years. The food itself becomes less important than the culture residing in it. In different parts of China, people wrap different things in Zongzi. Jiaxing District, south to Shanghai, is famous for its pork Zongzi, sometimes with salty eggs. The seasoned pork is well cooked and melts right away in your mouth. The roughness of salty eggs balances the sticky rice. Everything works together just perfectly.

I am paticular familiar with the pure rice Zongzi, which my mother wraps every year. Because of the purity of the rice, the fragrence of bamboo leaves (the wrappers) stands out. I usually dip this Zongzi in sugar or honey. The moment when my teeth touched the rice with honey was the best. I like the feeling of originally bound rice collapsing in my mouth.

I know the Asian Market here sells Zongzi. But I try to avoid eating Zongzi as something to fill me up. Some food is only tasty when shared with people who appreciate it.

A Bowl of Rice and Teeth

2005-06-12T23:16:00.000-04:00

As you might have noticed, the title of this site is officially changed to 'A Bowl of Rice'.

After being a reble for a couple months, I find a negative energy growing inside of me, which is totally out of my expectation. Initially, I wanted to break away from the hegemony, recreate something and provide alternatives for the existing values. But it turned out that I started searching for things to hate. That's not what I want. For most of the time, living is like being raped. One can either fight or enjoy it. This time I pick the harder one, to enjoy it.

I have big dreams, like millions of people in this world. But ultimatetly, we live for a bowl of rice. We study hard, work hard, steal, and kill, all of which are for a bowl of rice. I am not better than others because I read some so-called brilliant works or use big words. I don't want to enforce my thoughts in others' brians or put words in others' mouths. All I want to do is to join the main stream and work for my bowl of rice.

Of course, the content of this site would also change a little bit. Hopefully, this site would be about food and the stories behind them, not exclusively though. In the launch of this new site, I would like to start with my teeth. For the last few weeks, several friends had to visit dentist and could not eat some food. It suddenly occurs to me that in order to earn a bowl of rice and enjoy it, we need to have good teeth first. So I took the dentist's advice and prepared myself a dental package:

brush - brush teeth twice a day
toothpaste - used with brush
dental floss - clean the plague between teeth and below the gumline
Crest whitestripe - for a healthy looking teeth
wash my teeth twice a year

Protect your teeth before it is too late.

Gentlemen on Sale

2005-06-10T17:07:00.000-04:00

When I was practicing my 'Unplanned Wandering' this afternoon, I intruded into Indigo (a book store). As I mentioned in my previous entry, I am that kind of bastard who askes the staffs searching for some uncommon books but seldome buys them.

I accidentally found a book called Gentlemen: A Timeless Fashion. For me, this sort of book is a thicker version of fashion magazine that I usually would ignore or spit onto. But this time I stopped in front of it. What attracted me was the tag above it saying '80% off'. Oops, gentlemen's on sale!

Wait a second. Flipping through the book, I realized that to be a gentleman was still so damned expensive. From top to bottom, from underware to necktie, you gotta take care of everything. It echoed a blog I read from 'How to Pay Rent' about a gentleman and his wallet. Being Gentlemen is all about crapping money away (not in the toilet of course).

"My God", I repeated this line that I picked up from pornography and went away. I couldn't just stand there and keep embarassing myself and 'gentlemen', because I wore a pair of broken Converse and no underwear.

So close! A gentleman cost only 19.99 dollars (plus taxes) after the discount. But I still couldn't afford it.

I Don't Read Enough

2005-06-09T00:47:00.000-04:00

I was surprised that Sven tagged me. Suddenly there is a person who follows my blog and keeps making comments. I am still grateful for your comments and your encouragement. I would have quit blogging.

Well, here we go.

How many books do I own?

It's really embarrassing to reveal that I own less than a hundred books. First of all, I can't really afford books. I used to go to the bookstores and read the books there. Now I am lucky enough that I can borrow out as many books as I like from a big library. Second of all, influenced by an ancient Chinese scholar, I sort of believe that one can only read borrowed books, the ownership and the deadline of which push me to finish them as soon as possible. Or the books would just sit on my shelves for ever.

The last book I bought?

James Gleick (2002) What Just Happened: A Chronicle from the Information Frontier
I bought this book a couple of months ago when I was wandering at Indigo. Gleick is very insightful into the Internet culture. His cynical writing style reveals that he is a smart ass, which most North American are trying to be.

The last book I read?

Bill Bogard (1996) The Simulation of Surveillance: Hyper Control in Telematic Societies
I had a chance to talk to the author after I read his book. His brilliant employment of Baudrillar's simulacrum into the current trend of Surveillance practice is fascinating. It also stiimulated me to think of our identity. Stripped of the name, gender, height, weight that enforced on our physical body, who are we? What do people mean when they say they are Chinese/Canadian/Swedish/Australian/...?

Five books that mean a lot to me?

Wu Chen'en (1592) The Jouney to the West :
It's a classical Chinese novel about priest Sanzang and his three disciples, Monkey, Pig and Friar Sand, suffer 81 troubles and travel to India in quest of Buddhist scriptures. It totally blew me off by the author's incredible imagination. After reading that, I talked to my cat and hoped he would respond and turn to a cat-man accompaning me to discorver another side of the world.

Lu Yaodong (2002) The Stomach Greatly Tolerates :
I read this book last summer before I headed to North America. Initially I meant to learn some Chinese cooking so that I could survive. It turned out the incorporation of Chinese culture and the interpretation of Chinese cusine distracted me from learning cooking. I was so into this book that I was going to give up my program to be a cultural food hunter like Lu.

Berger, Arthur Asa (1997) Postmortem for a Postmodernist :
It is an interesting postmodern novel. The story is very simple. However, I did learn a lot about the essence of post modernism during the reading.

Micheal Foucault (1972) Discipline and Punish: The Birth of the Prison:
This book was the reason I am in my field now. And I believe someday I would learn French just in order to read the original French version.

Confucian Analects :
This is the foundation of my knowlege and my life. It's more a methodology of how to lead a life and how to do study.

Who to tag?
Well, I don't think I know any bloggers well enough to do this. I would so lose my face if the persons I tag don't do that. So it would be an open call here.

Updated:
After a second thought, I think it's a good way of making friends. So I am gonna tag 5 more persons:
Fredyan
Peabody
Andrew
Laoch-of Chicago
Jesse

Cheers!

Love Letters

2005-06-06T13:03:00.000-04:00

Inspired by Chiang Meichi's song, I started to count my love letters, how many love letters I received and how many I wrote. When I say love letters, I mean love letters written on papers, rather than email and the like. I am not sure if everyone in the world gets at least one love letter. But I can still say it is very lucky to receive love letters, especially in the digital era.

I don't believe that kind of crap in the movie 'You've Got Mail'. Confessions through emails are cheap. No matter what your confession is, the only way to show it to your secret admiree (is it a word) is to press 'sent'. Love, however, speaks not only in words. To complete a love letter, one needs to furnish his/her words, perhaps rewrite it for several times. One also needs to think of a way to present the love letter. There are much better ways of sending love letters than throwing them a mail box. As a matter of fact, the presenting is the most memorable part of it. I can still remeber those expressions when they gave me letters with shaking hands and choked to tell me not to read the letters until they left. Those were unforgettable moments in my life.

Love letters belong to the innoceant age when people don't consider whether the two of them match or not, all that in their mind is the urge to express love. The problem with love in this time is that people are searching for match instead of love. "I hope you find someone who can understand you." They are playing the game of trial-and-error, which is sad.

I hope it is not too late for me to realize this. To thoes who wrote love letters to me, I wanna say thank-you. Every love letter is a precious lesson leading me to the puriest tribe of love. So I would not flirt around. What's more, wherever you are and whoever you are with right now, I still feel being loved when reading your letters.

Do the Taichi

2005-06-05T02:05:00.000-04:00

Tonight my friend told me I had the very talent to become a monk. His statement really freaked me out 'coz I feel it as well. I tend to turn everything into seriousness, which always gives people hard times. The questions I ask and the arguments I make keep scaring people away. Great, I would end up being a monk if I don't do anything about it.

Okay, so what I need is to learn doing things eclectically, like what 50 Cent rapps "Just A Little Bit":

Damn baby all I need is a lil bit
A lil bit of this, a lil bit of that
...
All a nigga really need is a lil bit
Not a lot baby girl just a lil bit
We can head to the crib in a lil bit
I can show ya how I live in a lil bit
I wanna unbutton your pants just a lil bit
Take 'em off and pull 'em down just a lil bit
Get to kissin' and touchin' a lil bit
Get to lickin' and (*edited*) a lil bit

It's the essence of Taichi, which pursues the balance between Ying and Yang. Totalizing things seldom does me any good. I should start practicing flirting. Just flirting, no more and no less. It's the best way to find the harmony in my life, I guess.

Just another thought, does it mean I am not young any more once I stop going to the extreme?

Feverish Laziness

2005-06-03T14:16:00.000-04:00

I am suffering what Foucault addresses as "feverish laziness." It's a character trait of people who love libraries, documents, references, dusty manuscripts, texts that have never been read, books which, no sooner printed, were closed and then slept on the shelves and were only taken down centuries later. All this quite suits the busy inertia of those who profess useless knowledge, a sort of sumptuary knowledge, the wealth of a parvenu - and, as you know, its external signs are found at the foot of the page. It's a great, tender, and warm freemasonry of useless erudition.

Summer's Here

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING IDLE

I sold my soul for the second time
Cos the man, he don't pay me
I begged my landlord for some more time
He said “Son, the bill's waiting”

My best friend called me the other night
He said “Man, are you crazy?”
My girlfriend told me to get a life
She said “boy, you're lazy”

But I don't mind
As long as there's a bed beneath the stars that shine
I'll be fine
If you give me a minute
A man's got a limit
You can't get a life
if your heart's not in it

I lost my faith in the summertime
Cos it don't stop raining
The sky all day's as black as night
But I love complaining

I begged my doctor for one more line
He said “Son, words fail me”
It ain't no place to be killing time
But I guess I'm just lazy

I don't mind
As long as there's a bed beneath the stars that shine
I'll be fine
If you give me a minute
A mans got a limit
I cant get a life if my
heart's not in it

Willboard May

2005-06-02T11:12:00.000-04:00

Willboard is the montly recommendation of new albums I am listening to. This May is the month of Rock. The highlight of this month is Don't Believe the Truth (Oasis). This is Oasis' best album so far, I think. It brings out the laziness of this summer.

English

Oasis - Don't Believe the Truth (Released on May 30, 2005)
Coldplay - X & Y (Released on June 3, 2005) : Typical Coldplay
Mesmerize - System Of A Down (Released on May 17, 2005) : A bit of dirty and cynical, but funcky
The Wallflowers - Rebel Sweetheart (Released on May 24, 2005) : Very nice tunes
Kane - Fearless (Released on May 19, 2005) : Check out their blog
Black Eyed Peas - Monkey Business (Released on May 30, 2005) : funcky and dancing
Van Morrison - Magic Time (Released on May 17, 2005) : Classical and peaceful

Chinese

Chiang Meichi - Lover's Poem (Released on May 27, 2005) : Beautiful voice, but the poems
Gigi - Clockwise (Released on May 13, 2005) : Greatest hits of Gigi's music

Melody

O.S.T. - Girl With a Pearl Earring (Released on January 19, 2004)
Tube - Personality (Released on May 16, 2005) : Psychedelic
Kraftwerk - Minimum Maximum (Released on June 7, 2005): Wonderful Electronic (live)

Gone Going

2005-06-01T18:19:00.000-04:00

I was excited at the accidental visit of the raccoon. But my landlord worried that the raccoon would bite his house (like termits)and tear it down, so he dedicated to get the raccoon out.

The raccoon didn't cooperate no matter what we did. He just sat deep inside the attic and watched us busy through his raccoon eyes. I hated it when he looked at me that way. I open a window for him to run out and also put some flour near the window to trace whether he went out or not. Obviously, we couldn't watch him all the time.

Yesterday evening, I saw the marks of flour on the window. No more weird breath and noise in the house. He's gone even before I could take a picture of him.

After Raccoon

2005-05-31T15:50:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I got a new housemate, a raccoon. He just moved in without any notice. My roommate and I tried everything we could to kick him out. We scared him as well as seduced him. But he seemed to settle down here. Here's my plans for my life after this fat raccoon moved in.

Burn something beneath the attic and smoke him out. We could burn our house this way;
Get a gun and shoot him. We can always use the gun to shoot mice in the house as well;
Let him stay and raise him as pet. It is so cool that I can walk a raccoon;
Let him stay and request my landlord for a lower rent. Well, the raccoon stays here without paying anything. My landlord should not discriminate against me;
Get some more animals in the house and build a zoo. Well, we already get human beings, mice and a raccoon. Plus, we can make some extral money by running the zoo.
Trap it and cook it. Relax, we Chinese eat everything. I haven't tried any new meet after SARS.

Any more good suggestions on the raccoon?

Lost in Translation

2005-05-30T13:23:00.000-04:00

Sven commented on my previous post about Fudan Univsity, asking what institutions in ancient China are equivalent to "univeristies":

The uni I went to, Uppsala Universitet, was founded in 1477. Somehow I thought China would have older universities than that, but realised that university as such is a european invention. What sort of educational system equvelent to universities were there in ancient China?

After my research, I found there's no counterpart of universities in ancient China. Ancient China used a totally different education system, which focused on the implication of the knowledge, in turn, employed different levels of exams to filter and choose people. For individual students, they were free to choose who to be their teacher and then went for the exams. Thus I guess most of the coursework was done in the form of "graduate study" in western system, in which students discuss with their supervisors about things they are studying, rather than taught by the teachers. This system encouraged the whole society (from youths to the seniors, except women) to study and then contribute to the country because justified knowledge (after exams) equalled power and money, and a sense of self-realization as well.

When we talk about the research function (of modern university), this job was done by the different governmental departments as well as individuals who were not willing to work for the government. This touches the division of Confucianist and Taoist. The former argues "entering" and working for the profane world, while the latter values the freedom from traditional power. Hence, most students in ancient China since Han Dynasty （from 206 B.C.）were Confucianists.

So it can be said that ancient China's education system per se is relatively free and less bureaucratic (of course what they studied are really confined to the interests of dominant classes) to the extent that people needed not to be matriculated to pursue knowledge because they noticed in bone that they and their families would benefit from the knowledge in that system.

By the way, it is so not easy to introduce Chinese system in a western language. Sometimes I even couldn't find the right word, not only because my English is limited, but also of the truth that different languages create different concepts that cannot be properly translated to other languages (I will blog about this sooner or later). Even in the same language, it could be confusing sometimes. Here's a list of "tough English" you might want to try. Good luck.

Build My Happiness on Others' Pains

2005-05-28T15:02:00.000-04:00

John: "Hey, you know what? I also broke up with my girl."
Me: "Really? How come?"
John: "..." (I was not really listening here, all I heard was "bra bra bra...")
Me: "I know it sounds evil. But I have to tell you that I feel way much better after you told me that."
John: "What? hahaha..."
Me: "Sorry."
John: "You like the sympathy, do you? haha"

This conversation took place a couple of months ago. I thought I felt it that way because I was going through a hard time. But Last weekend I went to a friend's party. Althoug the food was good, the peple were interesting, the party didn't really started until one guy's car was hit by a drunk driver. We were so excited to catch the drunk driver, call the police and gossip. (But I did say sorry to the poor guy when he caught me smiling.)

"If you wanna live in the world for a long time, you gotta get your hands dirty sometimes". My supervisor in my undergraduate study told me everytime he visited me. Well, I still haven't nailed someone's tire yet. But sometimes I do build my happiness upon others' pains.

Theoretically, it is such a perfect formula:

one's pain creates others' happiness

compared to:

one's pain creates others' pains

I would love to have my friends laugh at my pains so that my pains would become worthy. Actually I would like to laugh at my own pains sometimes.

Make A Wish

2005-05-27T12:10:00.000-04:00

It's Fudan University 100 year-old birthday. Will you please allow every Fudanian to make a wish even if he/she is not able to be near you at this moment?

Well, 100 years is just a number for me, nothing particular. What matters is the precious four years I spent at Fudan. Last year when I packed my stuffs and left Fudan for North America, I figured out that that special period of my life ended and would never start again.

I am nervous right now coz I couldn't help evaluating myself and wonder if I am still qualified to bear your name. For me, Fudan means professional and high-standard, and forever No.1, and
never compromise our faith.

I wish I would not stigmatize your fame. Maybe more, I wish one day Fudan would be proud of me.

One Night in Ktown

2005-05-26T17:13:00.000-04:00

Golden Viet Thai -- Water Front -- Tango Club -- Tim Hortons

We almost hit every hot spot in downtown Kingston. Everything's cool except that I would be thirsty for a couple of weeks after 11 hours non-stop talk.

What's in my mind now is the word "accident". This world is so omnipotent that it can explain almost everything in the world.

Why did the five of us gather to have farewell dinner for the girl who was about to leave town? Why did the owner of the restaurant give us free dessert? Why did the waitress come to ask us asian characters? Why are some people proud of their nationalities? Well, all of these happen "accidentally" in the first place. The five of us met accidentally in the first place. We checked out the restaurant accidentally. The waitress accidentally had something at hand to ask us. We were accidentally born in China.

Following events after these accidents happen naturally, and cannot be questioned. For example, people love their country just because they are born in that place. All the other hoc ad meanings of being Chinese/Canadian/British/... are invalid and enforced. The only explanation is 'accident'. Thus, accidental events decide our life tracks. This echoes the movies of Run Lora Run and the Butterfly Effect. This world spins in a random way. A spontaneous event would change the results, sometimes shockingly.

My friends are already criticizing me of making no sense lately. I think I just like to try to view the world in different ways. It's quite a brain work. Hopefully I am still with most my hairs after all these thoughts.

Travel with Confucian

2005-05-25T00:49:00.000-04:00

Question: When you go travelling, which place do you prefer, nature or cities?

I guess most people would choose nature. But for me, I would rather travel in cities with human activities and contructions. This is the difference between Taoist and Confucianist. Taoist wants to stay away from human society while Confucianist encourages people to participate and enter. My ideal travel is to live in the local people's houses and observe what they eat in the morning, how they greet each other and so forth.

In other words, I would rather be a resident than a traveller. Being a traveller is like having sex with a prostitude. They just want to get to the point and no talk. It is masterbation using someone else's body instead of their own hands. It's really a waste of money. In contrast, being a resident, I get to learn the essences of the place, the society, and how the people there lead their lives. Pictures below are taken by Paul Johnson when he visited Beijing this month. I don't know him. But this is the way I want to travel.

Latern Market in Beijing

Blind Musicians in Beijing

If you follow my blog, you would probably notice that I am not a realists (However, I cannot declare myself constructionist since sometimes I do get sick of the power of human over non-human). Hence, I am not pursuing a pure and absolute exitence, like mountains and trees. These existences make no sense without human constructions. The diversity of the world reside in the diversity of human constructions, which are what I want to see. So let's take a walk with Confucian and leave the nature for Laozi.

12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web Addicts

2005-05-24T09:04:00.000-04:00

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.

2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.

3) I will get dressed before noon.

4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.

5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.

6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.

7) I will read a book... if I still remember how.

8) I will listen to those around me about their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.

9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.

10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.

11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.

12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime... and the Web will always be there tomorrow.

[via Mira]

Yeah, finally I make breakfast for myself.

Future Assemblage

2005-05-23T12:19:00.000-04:00

Summer holiday here it is. While I am idling around, my dear friends in Oxford are thinking of what they should do in the future. Shulu, Fredyan, and Yi are all about to leave Oxford. I am a bit of sad because I haven't got a chance to visit them in Uk or have a free lunch. When I read yi's most recent post, which is to say goodbye to oxford in a sad tone, I couldn't help thinking about my own future, or I should say, my past.

Future is actually a promise to the past. But not many people can fulfill and realize the promises they have made when they are young. That's why we feel turbulent at every turing. We feel sorry for ourselves if we see us far away from our original dreams. It's like what Ronan Keating sings in the song Father & Son:

...I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easyto be calm when you've found something going on. But take your time, think a lotWhy, think of everything you've got. For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.

I guess I blogged a similar topic before when I reviewed the movie Big Fish. Fever Still, I think it good to live for the promise we made in the past, rather than rowing the boat of fate. The movie Fever Pitch is more telling in that it combines original dreams and some beautiful encounters on the track. So I tend to think Future is an assemblage, which one can always pick up something and put it in your future. The point is to be picky when you choose and sticky when you live. To throw things away from this assemblage is not an exciting thing to do.

Well, I am afraid my above statement irritate Relativists. But just chill, I am not in the mood of being rebel these days, at least not to relativism.

Messages in the Bottle

2005-05-22T14:02:00.000-04:00

How to trap yourself:

Get a bottle, clean and dry it;
Write messages (whatever you wanna say) and fold them;
Put the messages in the bottle;
Seal the bottle.

Congradulations! Now you might be trapped like me. Once you accumulate certain amount of messages (I have 3 so far), it is sort of hard to quit. Newton knew the reason several centuries ago. On the other hand, if you threw the bottle in the lake or sea, you could be fined for polluting the environment.

Conclusion:

Never touch things you cannot consume yourself.

Piracy

2005-05-22T09:13:00.000-04:00

CBC said the good production quality piracy DVD of Star Wars has been available in all streets in Shanghai now. Isn't it awesome? My friends from Europe and North America always buy hundreds (not exaggerated) of piracy DVDs every time they come to visit China and take them back home. I think, piracy DVD must be another thing you need to buy in China beside tea, silk and other Chinese stuffs. (Then you might also buy a DVD player from China, or you can only play them in your computer.)

Piracy is both a way of sustaining Hollywood and a means of fighting it. First, it copies the production of Hollywood and other capitalist products, for example, piracy nike. Such piracy products would help broadcast the fame of the originals. Second, all of these are done in a non-approved way. In capitalist term, it is called 'illegal' because piracy makes Hollywood and other big companies lose money. It's not as brutal as Ben Laden, but more influential.

According to an economy professor at Fudan, piracy is a primary accumulation of capitals, which is benefitial to the vendors, the mass, and the government. In the context of Chinese society, piracy DVDs help to solve the problem of lack of work positions and laid-off workers. It also satisfies the needs of the mass. They pay less money (1 US dollar per DVD) and enjoy the same products (movie, music, software and so on). As a matter of fact, I and many of my friends cannot afford going movie theater in China. Moreover, many new technologies are developed in the industry of piracy. Last year, the technology of saving several movies in one disk was developed and applied to piracy industry, which means people could spend only 1 dollar to watch 3 latest movies. (How sweet it is!) Hence, I don't think the pace of piracy industry would halt in China.

Piracy belongs to middle class Chinese, while a more rebel industry, free download, is popular in the younger generations. But these two industries are not competing each other. If one has money and doesn't want to spend time searching and waiting, one just needs to go to the piracy market, vice versa. Free/illegal download is a global phenomenon. However, piracy is a unique industry in the transition of Chinese society. It's a combination of primary capitalism, the rise citizen society in the mass media era. It could be a good topic doing research in China.

Chinada

2005-05-21T15:01:00.000-04:00

Things we do in China...

Things we do in Canada...

Numb Mouth

2005-05-21T10:33:00.000-04:00

I think I am the person who would never taste the difference of good/bad wine/coffee/tea/water and whatever. For me, 3,000 dollars wine and 30 dollars one taste the same as long as I don't fake it. Thus, I am so jealous of people who can make a long speech at a glass of wine, a cup of coffee, a bottle of water and so on.

If you come to Kingston and do a little homework before you come, you would probably go to eat White Mountain Ice-cream, which is famous in Kingston. For me, again, it tasted no better than regular ice-cream, but bigger and more expensive. My friends used to "force" me to eat Hagen Das in Shanghai. They got excited by the fancy ice-cream store and its fancy price. Again, they told me Hagen Das was way much better than regular ice-cream. This really pissed me off, coz I spent the same amount of money but couldn't have that kind of "orgasm" my friends had. It's all because I have a numb and stupid mouth.

To some extent, the lady in Sex and the City is similar to me. She went to Paris to pursue the romantic life in Paris. But she got hit by a little girl, stepped on the dog shit, was maden fun of her sketchy French. What's worse, she broke up with her boy friend in Paris while most people fell in love in Paris. It was not her fate to enjoy the romance of Paris, which other people can feel. In similar, I am not designed to taste the good wine/coffee/tea/ice-cream etc.

Knowing the fact, next time I should think more than once before I go for these fancy stuffs. If there is different options, I would go to drink fountain instead of expensive Perrier, the taste of which, by the way, made me fussy.

Feel the God

2005-05-19T22:40:00.000-04:00

This afternoon I made a statement that God don't exist because we cannot feel his existence. What exists? Take rain for example. People can feel it whatever their backgrounds are, whereever they are born. When it rains, people can just feel it. That's absolute existence.

However, what's the difference between feeling it by oneself and hearing it from others? There're Christians travelling all around the world to instruct the belief in God. People who hear the instructions somehow get to know Jesus, at least the name. In this way, people also feel(hear) the existence of God. So God exist universally, according to the logic of rain.

The only question left is that if the existence of rain is absolute. If not, God don't exist. This discussion brings social science and natural science together. According to Latour, rain exists because there are a lot of agents (scientists) working on it and sustaining this belief (in rain). Thus, we actually don't feel rain by ourselves. We are also made believe that the stuff poured from the sky is rain. Similarily, God's existence also needs their agents and believers to sustain. The point here switch from the existence to agents.

This is a big shift in social science. At least, we don't ask question about ontology any more. Now we move to the stage of epistemology.

Family Affairs

2005-05-19T18:30:00.000-04:00

My friend told me she was moving together with her boy friend. I was happy for her, but annoyed as well. Suddenly, everyone seems to be with someone, and I am the only one left alone. Being alone is fine with me. What bothers me is that people still go for such kind of one-to-one relationship even they know it would hurt so bad when this link is broken.

My student also tole me that we needed to defend the family, considering that the divorce rate was rising and that people were generally getting married at an older age. He said they were signs that family was degrading. Well, why do we need to defend this form of organization if it is not working for people any longer?

Modern family model is built on monogamy, a couple and their potential children. It is essentially a one-to-one organization. If one leaves, the other suffers. In post-industrial society, it always happens. Maybe we need a new organization, a new means of gathering people to replace family. One person is safe, but lonely. Two people form is unreliable. Three people would make it more stable, and so forth. The more people we can get into this organization, the safer and securer we feel. As Hugh Grant said in the movie About A Boy, we need back-ups, one is not enough, we need more. I think I should start looking for back-ups now, not a special someone, but a special group. This new form of family is expanding continuosely, and it is not exclusive. The more links we get, the safer we are.

Wake Up with AIDS

2005-05-18T10:37:00.000-04:00

AIDS Memorial in Church St., Toronto

When my radio alarm clock hit 8am, I heard a report from CBC about AIDS in China. What a perfect morning, huh. I woke up to the news of AIDS. In gratitude, I send this greeting back to AIDS.

The news was the same cleche about the "evil" central government regime and ideology stuffs. What interests me is the power vacuum in the field of AIDS. Because of the lack of effective medicine to treat AIDS, in the world wide no organization can really declare its absolute power over AIDS and its patients. The so-called "International AIDS Organization" is just a small potato, which cannot build its authority. Reflected in China, the power vacuum is embodied with the conflict and tensions between different institutions, e.g., local AIDS organizations, international AIDS organization, chinese government and other emvironmental institutions. Since the victimized chinese government in western media, AIDS activitists this time was picked as the heros by CBC (which was influenced by CNN, I think).

Although the absolute language has not been stablized. Some groups of populations have been discriminated against, like blood-sellers (in turn poor people), homosexuals, people with low education and so on. They are targeted as "dangerous" people associated with the current unstable knowledge on AIDS and HIV. It would be quite amusing to see what if the current knowledge fails and a new explaination develops. They could declare people with special gene are "dangerous". Somehow, every power needs its subjects. As Bart Simon said, power loses its foundation if it is not linked to the subjects. In the case of AIDS, we could see the subjects are already constructed even though the power itself is still vague and unclear.

The Importance of Being Superficial

2005-05-16T10:09:00.000-04:00

A three-whole-day workshop was exausting as well as refreshing. Many interesting conversation took place. Moreover, I got to see some academic stars whom I have worshipped for a while.

I admit that I was being superficial when I talked to Bill Bogard. I told him I was a big fan of him. After reviewing his works on society of simulation and Baudrillard, I intend to incorporate his theories into my research. It was funny that the ideas he presented this time were similar to one of my recent articles. What would ancient Chinese say? Heros always think the same way (I am too arrogant, huh). Bill Bogard was also superficial in that he told us he had coffee with Baudrillard. So I think he would forgive me of talking about him here. It was really cool that we went to bar together and had wonderful talks. Awesome.

Didier Bigo turned out a very approachable and funny guy. When he shook his 50-year-old body in the dancing floor with us, you would know how adorable he is. I am amazed that France has so many brilliant people, like Foucault, Deleuze, Baudrillard, Latour, and Bigo of course. French theory, especially Foucualt, was the reason I am in this field now. I think I gotta start learning French in order to read the original and communicate with brilliant French people. Bigo was like a child when we hang out. At the same time, he was very serious when doing research. He told my colleage that his paper was "absolutely not" okay, while most Canadian professors would probably say "hmm, your paper is fine except ..." I have to say that I prefer French style (although I think Canadian people are very nice).

I also discover a new star in this workshop, Bart Simon from Montreal. The first time I talked to him was at the dinner when I thought he was just a graduate student who was interested in video-games. It turned out he was a professor and a very talented one at his age. I would talk to him more since his research is so similar to mine.

I am glad that I met Toshimaru Ogura. As Japanese, he initiated conversation with me, Chinese, on the sensitive topic of Sino-Japan relationship. He was so polite, like most Japanese, that I could not express my anger at Japanese government, which by the way he also critized a lot. Talking to him, I got to showcase my sketchy Japanese. Sometimes we need to be open-minded in order to communicate. I still don't know what it means by being Chinese or Japanese. For me, these identities are just geographic meanings. A simple term like "Chinese" cannot define me. Ogura sum's research is very interesting. Plus, we are similar in the way that it is not easy for both of us to write in English.

About this, Bigo, Ogura, Maria Los and I had a conversation. We felt the whole field was dominated by English and western scholars just because of the priviledge of English. Bigo told us there was an institution in France which could translate works in other languages into French. I think the success of French works rely heavily on its respect for and absorbtion of knowledge from other cultures. But I will still work hard on my English, of course.

Maria Los was a very nice lady. Our conversation covered from reaserch to culture and food. It was suprising that She celebrated Chinese new year (wow, I know). Well, I promised her I would cook Chinese food for her next time. She is so adorable.

There were many other interesting people there. I would gossipe about them if I got more time. Okay, now I should stop being superficial, hehe.

Okay

2005-05-12T23:52:00.000-04:00

Today I felt really insulted. I am not going to tell the details. But if people don't wanna hang out with me, that's fine. I don't want to force people. For the last few months, I have been treated myself so badly that I forgot what I needed to do here. It is enough. There is a whole life ahead and tons of people who care about me. I am not gonna be stuck and I decide to move on now.

To Angel:

I am not sure if you are reading my blog. But if you do, I wanna thank you. Thanks for everything you have done to me. You are the person who always encouraged me when I was down. I owe you a lot and I don't think I can make it up for you now. I just want to let you know that I don't forget the postcard you gave me a year ago saying "You know you cannot fail".

With a Hand-Phone, Comes More Responsibility

2005-05-11T15:25:00.000-04:00

I don't like to surprise people, but don't want to make an appointment for everything either. I have had problems finding people here so far without making appointments. It also shocked me that my student took out his notebook and "checked his schedule" after I agreed to talk to him about his mark. To be honest, I used to be like him and have a schedule notebook. "What do I think I am, business man or stupid ass?" After this deep contemplation, I quit it. It is good to be organized, and a little bit funny as well (although I don't know exactly which part of it is so funny).

The whole schedule and appointment things and being organized has to do with the habit of using hand-phone here. It strikes me that people here don't use hand-phone as much as those in Asia. Hand-phone and non-scheduled meeting must be killing Canadians because the philosophy of both are "surprise", which is opposite to the life-style here.

When one owns a hand-phone, one's time and space dimensions are actually disturbed. People equiped with hand-phone are always connected and standing by. This is quite similar to Guerrilla philosophy in that both require people to switch on and off a certain space (time as well) at any moment. Living in Asia is to negotiate with the whole legal system, which is deemed unreliable. Therefore, individuals always have their own interpretations of system and these require people to be fluid. However, in Canada, people count on the system and most of them are cooperative. The whole tax system relies on individual's honesty (Wow!). If they find system not satisfying, they would fight and build another system. It is not the case in Asia.

Back to the hand-phone, Canadian doesn't like it because it catches people when they might not be prepared. The telephone doesn't cause such a "limbo" (uncertainty). People can choose to answer the call or not because it is not tied to the body, while hand-phone is supposed to be with the body. It would be one's bad if he does not answer the hand-phone or switches it off once he has one. I don't have a hand-phone now, but I would like to share my "crimes" associated with hand-phone:

I didn't take hand-phone with me sometimes - "Do you think you cell-phone is actually a pager or a message-machine (complaints from family and friends)!"
My cell-phone was not always on - "If you don't turn on the cell-phone, why do you need it and tell people your number!"
I didn't answer all the phone calls - "Why didn't you answer my call!! I would pay for the connection fees."
I didn't reply texts sometimes, especially jokes from friends - "Jesus, at least you should have typed 'hehe'. "
My texts were short most of the time - "Why do you always type so few words? You don't feel like chatting with me?"

With a hand-phone, comes more "responsibility"!

Movie: the Matrix

2005-05-09T14:30:00.000-04:00

It was the second time that I watched this movie. The Matrix resembles Baudrillard's Society of Simulation. In such a simulated world, everything is virtual. The physical existences make no sense, stripped off all the knowledge associated to them. The Matrix is a world in which we all live in the virtual form. We use money - a simulated note - to trade everything we need. Bodies do not exist if we do not bear names, gender, address and so on. People still don't know me even after they see my face. But a sense of familiarity can be created as long as my profile is provided whetherever we meet in person or not. We are always living in the Matrix.

In this sense, it is a movie that aims to train us think out of the box. They want us to 'wake up' from the Matrix and see the thruth.

A second thought led me to the question that if there is an absolute truth out there. If all the social constructions are taken away from us, what can we be? Human society differs from other societies (if I can use this term) in that we keep creating social meanings. The whole society and its development stands on the knowledge we "made". Without the Matrix, we would be like a group of cats, which have no names, no relations (mother-son, husband-wife are all social construction). We would be animals living for food and sex, both of which are biological needs.

I think the writer of the script (a philosophy professor as I know) must be a realist. He pursues the ultimate truth. Maybe there is, maybe not. The important question here is if it is worthy to live out of the Matrix. I think he must fantasize himself as a cat or dog or any another "pure" animal sometimes.

Rebel Chef

2005-05-07T13:32:00.000-04:00

Yes, I can cook.

Pork

Rebel Ingredient: Onion, Pork(instead of Steak)

Chung-Yo-Main

Rebel Ingredient: peanut butter, soy source

Orange is the New Rebel Color

2005-05-04T03:03:00.000-04:00

To the youths who stood up and saved China on May 04, 1919!

Weather, Color TV & ANT

2005-05-03T16:23:00.000-04:00

Kingston's recent weather embodies Actor-Network Theory (ANT) I am reading lately. It is sunny in the morning, "buggy" in the afternoon, then rainy, and fianlly clear in the evening. It is similar to ANT in that there is no default condition. I (and most people) used to assume that the weather in May be sunny and warm. But it is not the case. A letter from New Zealand this morning informed me that it was cold and snowing there in Wellington.

After reading the site of the color television revolution, I could imagine how excited people were at the presentation of color on TV set then. In the 1950s, broadcasters in NBC must be very proud when they annouced that "The following program is brought to you in Living Color on NBC! (need Quicktime to view the video) " It was a time with surprise and happiness. However, we are now living in a world with too many default situations, a world where most people pretend to know something. We assume that TV should be in color, that telephone be easily accessible, that human being dominates the world, and so on. Looking back into the history of society, one would find that these assumptions are faulse, or not 100% true.

We are actually living in a world without certainties. The first lesson I taught my students was to describe what they saw, rather than what they thought. When they meet a person with short hair and beards, it does not necessarily mean this person is man. When they see people put something in their mouths, they cannot assume there people are having a meal. We should break away from 'default' situations, which are all man-made.

(Appendix: Color TV Bibliography)

Willboard April

2005-05-02T16:15:00.000-04:00

I create Willboard to introduce some good new albums I listen to lately. I also do this to "pop" up my site and entertain my readers in case that people get tired of reading serious stuffs on my site. Here is Willboard April 2005.

The highlight of this month is Anna Nalick, an incredible voice in her debut album Wreck Of The Day. Twenty-year-old Anna Nalick is the rare artist who makes you want to grab pop music's wheels by the spokes so they'll stop spinning so fast. Her poem-like lyrics are incredibly insightful. Her unaffected voice, simple piano and guita work just perfectly.

Willboard (April, 2005)

English:

Anna Nalick - Wreck Of The Day (19/04/05)
Rob Thomas - Something To Be (19/04/05)
Gorillaz - Demon Days (24/05/05)
Backstreet Boys - Never Gone (14/06/05) : After listening to this album, I was a bit disspointed. But BSB is here because I started western pop from their music.

Chinese Mandarin:

Kym Sha - Air (23/04/05)
Vivian Hsu - Say You Love Me (08/04/05)

Chinese Cantonese:

Miriam Yeung - Single (22/04/05)

Distance Makes Good Food?

2005-05-01T04:30:00.000-04:00

For the last three days, I have been dinning out with friends. Different people, different food, different places. One thing in common is that they were not 'easy' food. On Thursday, we waited for almost 2 hours for our food. Ironically, it took us less than half an hour to finish it. Friday was Chinese buffet which was in uptown Kingston. Endless walking and eating stuffed my memory for that evening. Tonight we drove half an hour to a tiny harbour town called 'Rock port' down the highway for German food while my original plan was to drive to Montreal for dinner. Sitting in the Boat House Restaurant and watching the lake view outside the window, I forgot the complain the over-salted onion soup and over-fried pork. "Maybe that's the way German food is served" I murmured to myself.

Does distance make good food? When I say distance, I mean geographical distance, time dimension and cultrual difference. Is it ture that the further we travel, the more time we spent, the more efforts we make, the better the food is? In "Friends", Monica was so happy because her boyfriend took her to Rome for a pizza dinner. So far as I know, pizza in Italy is not as tasty as that in other parts of the world. But distance gives people imagination, which would fantazise the food.

Before we set out for our dinner this eveing, I had an argument with my friends about whether it was worth it to drive 3 hours to Montreal for a dinner and then come back. They beat me 'coz I don't drive. But I still think it worthy. People can work 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week for food. Why can't we drive 3 hours for dinner? People can fly thousands of miles across ocean just for a trip, why isn't it worth it to drive for several hours for food, which sustains our lives?

Food is the foundation of human society, as well as the ultimate goal. Our ancestors lived in the age when they either got food or became food. They had to fight for food (while nowadays people give up food because of distance). Society developed because grouping was easier to get and protect food. A better society sat down after we knew how to produce and distribute food to meet the needs of the people in that society. Capitalism prevails now because it is a good system of producing food. But under this system, people don't have equal access to food. As a result, we need a better system which can efficiently distribute food. In all, society develops around the issue of food. However fancy one leads his life, one is at first a bread-earner. I am sorry that my friends live upside-down.

We should show respect to food. It is not something you can have it or not. We should have a little fantacy for food. That's how a better society happens.

Oops! I Did It Again

2005-04-27T21:29:00.000-04:00

I went to an Open Sing for the first time in my life this evening. To be honest, no matter in Karaoke or in choir, I prefer to sing solo. But I appreciate the opportunity to try something different, in this context, to learn Canadian sing-along folk tunes and easy Jazz standars. Critized of singing during the shower, I finally got a chance to sing aloud without complaints. And I am pretty happy with that.

I had a wonderful time there except only one problem. I was the only non-Caucasian in the Open Sing. People smiled to me, talked to me but they also avoided to sit next to me. I had a feeling of being marginalized. This was not the first time I had this feeling. I can still remember on St. Patrick's Day, I went to an Irish bar and regretted that I went to celebrate. Irish stared at me as if I were alien. I drank up and took off as soon as possible.

This is the situation I don't know how to deal with. I try to be open to everything, don't wanna be a stubborn "Chinese". But what people see me is my skin color and that's all they see. On the other hand, they don't do anything rude or wrong. They just do something they feel comfortable with- sitting next to their people. I cannot kidnap a person and tie him/her next to me. But I do smell something not quite right in the air. Well, I like to put myself in a totally strange environment. I ask for it and I get it. What else can I say.

It's Pimple Season

2005-04-24T12:22:00.000-04:00

"What's wrong with your face?" My friend freaked out.
"Er... I know." I instantly covered those red bulbs on my face.
"What happened? Anything you wanna talk?"
"No, just pimples. It is the season."

Pimple is pimple, no other 'tough' things underpinning it. By saying this, I am starting to challenge the validity of medical knowledge, or knowledge in general.

What do we learn from school? We learn to make connections. We learn to find the relations between several seemly irrelevant things. As a result, pimple must be connected with the food I ate lately, or my life-style, or difficult things I am going through, or even my gene traced back to my ancesters for several generations. If someone can integrate such detailed and dispersed connections into a system, like Marx, Weber and Foucault, to name a few, then he/she becomes the master. Religion ascribes all the connections and reasons to an absolute God. Modern knowledges explain the world in a relatively fragmented system. Although they avoid the simplistic and ultimate reason, these knowledges still draw heavily on 'connections' and 'reasons' between things.

But what if pimple is just pimple? What if something just happens for no specific reason? What if there is no reason, no connection? That requires us looking into every tiny thing in a new way, without the influence of the 'diagram' of that field. The hegemony of diagram actually terminates knowledge before it happens. The rule and the connection is already set there, waiting to be applied to the specific case, e.g., pimple. True knowledge stems from the uniqueness of every case. For example, pimples on my face on April 2005 and pimples on my face when I was 16 are different, hence need to be treated differently. If the reasons are the same, one bottle of Clean & Clear would work on thousands of pimples on thousands of faces. However, the fact is that Clean & Clear may work at the age of 16, but might not this time. There is no absolute connection or reason beneath pimples, nor other things.

So why not quit looking for any reasons or connections? Before we quit them, we need to find a substitue for them, in other words, what we are looking for when studying if not connections. This is also the critics to Post-modernism. They tear down everything, replacing those with nothing. If the reasons for my pimples are not important anymore, what is important? I eliminate the knowledge of pimple in the way of causalily here, and I am sure I would be uncomfortable with the knowledge of representing my pimples in any visual way, I don't want any song written on my pimples either. What other knowledge can be made out of my pimples? I think here the agent's preference is important. That is, what kind of knowledge "I" want to build? Agent has been out of the picture of knowledge for a long time since the ration and reason are pursued. Modern knowledge is against personal explanation for the sake of 'unbias' and 'reason'. I propose to call agents back.

In the case of my pimple, "I" want to erase them. Thus, "I" went to get a Clean & Clear this morning (please notice several agents I mentioned here, I, Clean & Clear, this morning, among which I is the most important coz I decided the action of purchasing this morning and chose Clean & Clear).

Anti-Japanese in a Civilized Manner

2005-04-19T21:45:00.000-04:00

Today my friend sent me a power-point of 4/16 anti-Japanese Demonstration in Shanghai. I have to admit that it was the first time I saw Chinese people bound so closely and that I was a little surprised, in a good way. What's more, some students raised "anti-Japanese in a civilized way (文明抗日)", which is really mature and responsible.

Media in North America critized Chinese government failing to control the mobs. I disagree. First of all, 170,000 people in Shanghai attended the demonstration in the end. It would direct the fire to the government itself if it tried to stop the demonstration. Second, what if Chinese government did stop the demonstration? China would probably be critized as "brutal", "no human right". I feel irritated at western reports on China sometimes.

Anyway, throwing rocks and eggs cannot accomplish anything, but ruin the image of China (although whatever we do is universally critized). People expressed their feelings and now it is the government 's responsibility to take care of everything. Any more violent actions would put Chinese people in an awkward position. For Japan? It is not worth it.

To protest against Japan is not the ultimate solution. What we need is a peaceful environment for the development of a stronger economy. Swtich the anger towards constructive and positive
energy. Let's be mature and responsible Chinese and look at the long future. I am proud of you, sweet mobs.

Unconscious Highlights

2005-04-18T17:11:00.000-04:00

I have been complaining about this city since I arrived here and I noticed that I missed the beauty of this place when comparing and complaining. After reading Donna Haraway, I tend to think every non-human, including a city, is equal to human and that there should be no hierarchy between human and non-human. (That does not mean I am anti-humanist.) According to this theory, I should like Kingston better than Shanghai. Shanghai city itself is a projecte full of human purpose and hierarchy of human over city, while Kingston is a place with less such obvious hierarchy (although it was 'planned' as a university town). Besides, you cannot imagine how thirsty of sun-shine I am after several months' snow. So I grabbed my camera and started to make friends with this city and entertain it.

Stairs

Edge

From Board Game to Fetish

2005-04-17T11:50:00.000-04:00

Last night I played a western board game for the first time in my life. Basically, it was about English words. Give you a word, and you guess what it means. Or given the meaning or a situation, you tell what the word (expression) is. It was fun. I got to play a tongue-out dog. In addition, I learnt some expressions, e.g., bull in a china store, a dog and pony show, three sheets in the wind, etc. And it was no surprise that I sucked at this game.

It is interesting to retrospect the assumptions behind this game. It is a game with the fetish of words (although it also relies on team-work and good fortune). Thoes with the best knowledge of words get rewarded and win the honor. It reminded me of an ancient Chinese game I played when I visited Shaoxing several years ago. People, most of whom were 'educated', sat on the stones along a tiny domestic garden river. Every minute 'servants' put a cup of wine in the river and let it float along the river. If the cup of wine stopped at someone, this person needed to say a poem rhymed to last person's. If he/she failed to do this, he/she would be punished to drink the wine. I was happy with the fact that I drank a lot of wine that day.

This fetish of words is not restricted in the circle of 'educated' persons. Instead, it is the foundation of the whole society system throughout the human history. Man hasn't hesitated to use words since our ancesters started it. It must be killing people when they come across something with no name and no discourse on it. "What the hell is the big humping rat?" "Kangaroo (Australian aboriginal language of northern Queensland, means I don't know)." "Oh... it is Kangaroo." Then they started to study 'Kangaroo'. Natural science develops quite this way, so does so-called social science. Without words and naming, knowledge seems impossible.

On the other hand, this fetish is sustained and promoted throughout the social life. Kids with a good command of language are labeled 'intelligence' and 'with a bright future'. Then we play games mentioned above. President candidates travel around and give public 'speeches' to convince the public to vote for them. This talk-show kind of politic system is considered 'democracy' and better than any other form (wow!). To some extent, the current conflicts between China and Japan are also a battle of words - history books.

Good or ill, we make too many things out of words. Maybe it is time for us to be more creative, and try something new, other than words. It leads to the realistic question that "Is the world possible without words?"

Reading: ME++

2005-04-16T00:56:00.000-04:00

William J. Mitchell's book Me++: the Cyborg Self and the Networked City demonstrates how new technologies shape our existence. In the chapter of Shedding Atoms, Mitchell creats a new calendar: B.D. and A.D. which stand for Before/After Dematerialization respectively. According to his research, the history of technology is a history of dematerialization, from texts and paintings on the walls and ceilings, to paper, to such portable devices as disks and UBS, then to digital reproduced and transported in cyberspaces. The geographic and physical existence disappeared around Y2K in the old calender (Mitchell 2004:100).

With the dematerialization, our social life is reshaped, e.g., the mobility of producers and comsumers of information is enhanced. Nevertheless, the tech-determinism over emphasizes the influence of dematerialization. Digital existence still needs to be embodied. We still need to pay to materialize the digital texts and images. Actually the whole dematerialization is based on more complex materials, for exmaple, computer, MP3 player and other such expensive items, although the reproduction and distribution of digital information becomes cheaper and even cost-free.

One should also concern the power relation in the A.D. The new power relies on the the accessibility and, more importantly, the speed of accessing. One would gain the power if one is quick at learning getting familiar with the new environment and new technology. Then the next question that should be asked is whether new technology is equally available and accessible to all people or some groups gain privilege. declares thatonce the universal use of internet is achieved the poverty will be solved. However, it seems there is no change in the accessibility of resources as before. Neither is the power relation in turn.

The rise of cyberspace brings the issue of boundary into the spotlight again after several waves of feminism. Many boundaries are taken down as the blurring of identity in the cyberspaces. However, another dichotomy is built at the same time. That is the binary of physical existence and cyberspace. This is well evidenced by the notion of 'dematerialization'.

Mitchell's interesting argument does give us a clue. A new angle of looking into the technology's influence is opened up. Beside the research on the technology side, the physical architecture and city side are also worth examination. In the era of paper, library was the landmark. Then libraries needed to be reformed to provide survice of online searching. Banks and theaters, which used to be the center of a city, are taken back. Instead, ATM, credit card, walkman, and MP3 player become pervasive. We are approaching the condition of 'walking architecture' as designs are off the wall and into the skin zone (Mitchell 2004:82).

The architecture and technology are co-evolting in the Whiteheadian style. As the development of dematerialization, the ancient distinction between settlers and nomads is eroding. The doctrine of urban planning in 20th century was the well-defined and seperated or fragmented spaces. Living, business, entertainming spaces were seperated from one another. However, digitalization and internet redefine the land-use zoning as versatile and compatible. A room can be either office or play-ground since people can work, chat as well as play on their computer. This is a new kind of opportunity to recoup the 'right to the city', which Henri Lefebvre terms as 'diversification of space' in which the importance attached to functional distinctions would disappear.

Reconfigure Human being

Mitchell envisions an extreme electronomadics ( 'against program') . In this concept, the traditional mind/body disctinction can be reduced to software/hardware. "Mental life is just an affair of bits in the brain; you might strip them from this squishy substance and download yourself onto a disk... the equivalents of WORD files of memorized text, JPG files of visual memory, MP3 files of unforgettable tunes, EXE files that specify how to get things done, and so on." In this sense, we are free from our 'dying animal' body. This reminds me of the case of Terri Shiavo. What really matters, the dying animal or the 'software' that she accumulated but lost? (gotta go, no time to think about it now)

This argument also reminds me of my last year's paper on cyborg. We already became cyborg as our ancesters started using tools. In this sense, we are still not post-human, but the extension of our ancesters. In turn, we have never been modern.

Celebration

2005-04-13T22:03:00.000-04:00

On my way back from friend's 25 year-old birthday dinner, the issue of celebration roamed in my mind: what are people celebrating for, how do they celebrate it, and who are they celebrating with?

In the context of birthday, I think, we are celebrating life, which is the most magical thing in the world. To some extent, we are all survivors who are continuosly struggling with germs, disasters, wars and even accidents. Turning 25 is my friend's personal record of surviving. For common people, to keep alive and survive another year is really a big achievement. My friend chose to celebrate this with friends in a Thai restaurant.

It reminds me of my 23 year-old birthday a couple of month ago. I think special events need to be celebrated with special people who really care about them. So I am glad that my friend had so many people who cared about his birthday. I was not as lucky as he, however. I did not want to call a bunch of people who just showed up, got drunk and then left. If I just want to get together with people, I can do it other time but my birthday. It is better for me not to celebrate it than to do it nonchalantly.

Maybe I make too much a big deal out of things. The real question here is 'WHO CARES'. I talked to my supervisor about my project and my concerns, he told me it was 'JUST a master degree, not a big deal'. 'Oh...right.' We are all waiting for and looking forward to special someone to share special moments. Unfortunately, not all of us can realize it. In the movie of Sideways, Miles opened his 1961 Chateau Cheval Blanc, which he had saved for a long time for special someone, in a fast-food restaurant and drank it alone. But he is not a loser. He is just not as lucky as some other people. I applaund for him because he wakes up and deals with it. To celebrate, in this sense, is a 'luxury' practice which not everyone can 'afford'. I am sincerely happy for my friend. He is the lucky one.

Another thing, today I was deeply moved by a simple message from home country: "last year the same day '4.12' you got Queen's offer, I still can remember~~."

Music: English Rebel Songs 1381-1984

2005-04-12T01:56:00.000-04:00

I happened to find this album. This 2003 version has two more songs than the original 1988 version. "13 Tracks Originally Recorded in 1988 as a Homage to the Tragedies and Triumphs of the People who Shaped England (Amazon)." Different from Chumbawamba's punk style, this is a collection of old folks and the singing is very peaceful, although they are rebel songs. Click on the two songs below from this album and listen to them (you can also download them by 'right click' and 'save as'), you wouldn't regret it.

To the Mobs!

Wash Hands Before Tequila

2005-04-11T17:27:00.000-04:00

Tequila is something I heard a lot but seldome got a chance to try. Fortunately, I tried it this weekend. It was unbelievable that people would invent such an 'abnormal' way of drinking.

- First, you lick the salt on your hand. Then you drink up Tequila very fast. And then you bite the lemon. Everything must be done very fast.
- Okay, I get it.
- So, are you ready.
- Yes.
- First, lick the salt on your hand. Do it fast.
- If we are going to lick it, we need to wash our hands first, right?
- hahaha...
- (Embarrased) I was just kidding. Okay, are you ready?
...

Why was washing hand before licking it so funny? Isn't it common-sense? This time you people got me. I will wash my hands and not feel guilty or not cool next time, whatever others' reaction is.

Word Power Makes Easy?

2005-04-10T18:01:00.000-04:00

When my student argued the inequality of media coverage of women's sports, she presented a research on a popular sports magazine saying that reports on men's sports relied largely on texts to introduce the sport and the athletes while reports on women's sports events preferred pictures to texts. She meant to demonstrate the gender bias in media and sports. However, I gathered another hierarchy in her argument: the hierarchy of words over pictures (in this context) and other media.

How did 'word' gain such a power? Both word and picture are representation of the reality (it there is reality). Then how come is word socially preferred? You could argue that in fashion magazine photos are more important than texts. But publishings with more pictures than words are deemed to be 'superficial' and 'non-serious', while academic journals, which use overwhelmingly words, are socially worshipped. The requirement of the project for my students is also reinforcing such hierarchey in the way that only journal articles can be used in their papers.

Back to the question of word hegemony. Maybe word is considered to convey the exact meaning and thus considered more stable and useful. This point of view ignores the interpretation of human actors. When we read texts, we are actually creating our own interpretations, which could be overlapped with others' interpretations. But so is it when we watch images, listen to sounds, and etc.

In addition to no adventage on word's part, word and text are problem makers most of the time. If I give my mother an English fashion magazine, she would probably drop it two seconds later. By inserting texts in the pictures (although only a small portion), the photos become less important while the symbols of words are emphazised. Because the symbols are in English, which my mom is not familiar with, the photos also become 'English' and 'unreadable' for her. If the education system did not rely heavily on language, but equally on different media of communication, I and many international students would not face such a big language problem which actually 'disablilizes' people who are not good at language or words. In this sense, I think The Untitle Project, which takes out the texts from differen urban settings, is a terrific idea. The project deconstructs the hegemony of words, and at the same time promotes an equality between different forms of communication.

This entry does not mean to cut word out of the whole landscape. Instead, it encourages the harmony between word and picture and other media. The problem right now is that the society leans way too heavily on words than others and such preference causes social problems as stated above.

Last but not the least, I use the form of words to showcase the hegemony of words and texts for two main reasons. First, I couldn't find other forms to express myself probably because I am socialized this way under the power of words. Second, it would be neat for word to reflect and fight against its own hegemony. Maybe next time I should explore how to do academic in a proper and unbiased way if I can figure out.

12 Steps to Become Weird

2005-04-09T16:44:00.000-04:00

Since Thursday night I started to hang out with a bunch of 'weird' people. Strikingly, we really hit it off: Dirty talk, Beers, Marijuna, strange thoughts and conversations. I was raised in a proper way, expected to wear suit and tie and talk elegantly in a bright office. My parents must be very disappointed if they find this out. "Perfect, our only child is hippie." I can imagine them saying this. I do not know how I feel about this. But it would be interesting (or more weird) to explore how I became weird.

Basically there are 12 steps. Actually I just made up this number so now I need to fill it up. Why 12? It sounds a magic number. There are 12 holoscopes (both Chinese and Western), 12 lunnar hours (one lunnar hour equals to 2 hours) a day, 12 months a year, 12 years is a circle of life as said. Anyway, I also went through 12 steps to become weird.

Normal - Start to pay attention on my body and dream about future
Narcissism - extremely obssessed with myself
Hate Others - everyone else is stupid
Stop casual talk - what is the point of discussing weather and what we have for lunch
Search for uniqueness - walk out of the line, avoid mass media and mass culture, wouldn't admit it even I really like Christina Aguilera, look for weird and ugly stuffs and identify myself with them
Alone and Lonely - most importantly, be pround of being alone and lonely because loneliness means I am different from the average people
Read Philosophy - to kill the loneliness
Study Sociology and Philosophy - a gathering of weird people and weird thoughts
Hate myself - be mean to oneself, be sacarstic to everything I do, physically deform myself (hilite, shave bald, try to gain weight)
Collective weirdness - hang out with weird people and be comfortable being with them
Dirty talk - the people I hang out with use f*cking in front of every word, I use it more creative- in the middle, e.g., abso-f*cking-lutely. can't express myself properly without these words
Marijuna - no matter how awful it tastes, just be cool and smoke pot

Are these what I want? Everytime after Marijuna, I felt sick for the next whole day, couldn't breathe. Everyone in this group seems to have strong opinions, but who cares. I used to be like an angel but Marxism drugged me. I need to read some Buddha and Taoism.

Why Do We Hate Japan

2005-04-09T00:58:00.000-04:00

By April 4, there had been 27.3 million online petitioners, most of whom were from China, and several street demonstrations against Japan's bid for a permanent seat on the U.N. Security Council, while the Chinese central givernment's attitude is still unclear. Foreign residents in Beijing are advised to avoid the Zhongguancun Hailong Plaza electronics market in Haidian between the morning of 9 April (Saturday) and the even of 10 April (Sunday). It is indicated that this is to be the location of an anti-Japanese demonstration during the weekend. As reported by Angry Chinese Blogger (a foreign resident teaching language in China):

Though this weekend's hostilities certainly weren't the first anti-Japanese protest in China, most prior anti protests have been on a much smaller scale, and have remained peaceful...To date, much of the anti-Japanese sentiment expressed outside China's leadership and media has been credited to young unmarried males from the lower or mid middle classes, and it was broadly noted that the rioters were almost exclusively young male city dwellers who would have had no experience of Japanese aggression, and whose parents would not have experience it either.

Why does such a 'lay-back' generation, which is always critized as 'politic awearlessness', suddenly become political? Why do we hate Japan even it is quite likely that Beijing would finally vote for Japan's bid?

I personally have very close Japanese friends who are polite and open-minded. But for Japan as a nation, I do not have many good words. After invasions, two world wars, domestic war, culture revolution and cold war, China fell down to the status of a less-developed country from the arrogant Middle Kingdom. What we learn from history books makes us feel defeated and depressed. Most Chinese people feel unconfident in front of other peoples. On the other hand, we are looking forward to the resuming of Chinese power, considering the rapid development happening in China. Most young Chinese notice that we need a peaceful and stable environment for further development. Thus a war between Taiwan Strait is almost impossible even though we all want to slap the recessionists in Chinese Taiwan to death.

However, Japan's current policies are to challenge and irritate our tolerance: denial of its crime in the war, intervention in China's internal affairs, withdrawl loan to China and so on. Its development is through restricting and (invading during two world wars) its neighbour countries. The growth of such a destroying power will certainly threaten regional safety and development, including China. No wonder South Korea, People's Republic of Korea and Singapore have officially declared that they would veto Japan's bid for permanent seat in UN Security Council.

Moreover, Japan's joining in the Security Council will further break the balance of world affairs. To grant Japan a permanent seat equals to grant the U.S. another seat. Maybe Angry Chinese Blogger is right, the current 5 permanent UN SC countries all have 'brutal' histories. So is Japan. But this cannot be the reason why Japan should be granted the permenant seat. UN needs to reform to reconstruct the balance, rather than leaning more on one side. Considering the relationship of Japan and the U.S., it is not a good step to recuit Japan into permenant UN SC. That would not make things better.

It is sad that China would probably vote for Japan because China's governemtn does not want to be the enemy of any big countries. I still hate politics but have a warn to China's government: Don't break your people's heart, don't make us lose confidence on you. To vote for Japan can only make the government a loser in its citizens' eyes.

Updated at 2:50 EST, April 10, 2005

Dismantle 'STUFF' & 'SORRY'

2005-04-08T10:51:00.000-04:00

This topic is inspired by Sven's comment on my previous post Etopia: What is your favourit word in english? This question circled around my mind and two words pop up: STUFF and SORRY. I like the former one while the latter word makes me frustrated. Although I don't like some words, I still use them in my everyday life. Hence, basically I am still a disciplined 'docile body', but with some weird thoughts sometimes.

STUFF

'STUFF' is a neat word, which I am particularly obsessed with. Whatever one wants to say but could not find a proper name for it, one can use 'STUFF'.

-What's the STUFF on her face?
-You know, that STUFF...
-Oh, that STUFF, erw...

Besides its omnipotent, it is also a word without any boundaries. It can refer to both good and bad things. It can be used to describe both female and male things, body and mind, etc. It transcends any restrictions. Thus, STUFF is the nature of ontology. By applying STUFF, one is not confined in certain circles. In this sense, STUFF also sets minds free.

-Hey, What do you study? What are you doing?
-I am doing STUFF.
-Okay, then what is your major?
-I major in STUFFOLOGY, if you want me to put it this way.

See, the gap between academic and average is also filled by STUFF. No matter you are a professor, a lawyer, or a cleaner, you are doing STUFF. So there is no difference between these STUFFs. If I had a business card, I would put STUFFOLOGY on it, just like what I do here.

SORRY

I also want to explore a word I dislike: SORRY. I am not sure when people say SORRY, they really mean it or saying it is just their habit. I don't caculate how many SORRYs I would encounter everyday. But it is so pervasive that I even do not notice when people say it.

It is funny that people think they can use SORRY to compensate their behaviours. If you feel SORRY, do not do that thing. Moreover, if SORRY really works, we don't need police, law and prison any more.

If strangers saying SORRY to one another is not an issue, I also know that there is a kind of relationship in which people say SORRY more than any other word. This is what should be SORRY for. There is no sadder situation than this. Why not name oneself SORRY if one is very much into this word? That would be more lovely.

Etopia

2005-04-07T01:27:00.000-04:00

This title could be confusing. It does not mean technological society or digital world. Here it refers to a world stuffed with English. Many things inspire me to discuss this topic, in English (of course) which is my third language. The first input came from Lifeweek Magazine this week's special report. A second reason is the fact that I am struggling in an English world (or I should use the term 'Etopia' here) where the most significant problem for me is language. A friend actually complimented on the progress of my English. The book From East to West which I reviewd a couple of days ago also touches this issue. In one of the 15 lives, the soul was born in India but he chose to write in English because he wanted to unite the world in order to realise the horizontal Self.

Stemmed from British Island in 5 A.D. when only spoken by English, Welsh, and Scotish, English now is sweeping all over the world. The influence is much bigger than Tsunami. I didn't notice the influence until I read the statistics: there are 400 million native English speakers, 250 million use English as second language, 1 billion are learning English, 1/3 of the global poplation are expected to speak English in 2050 (Statistic from Lifeweek Magazine). That looks stunning.

But I doubt the truth behind these numbers is not as surprising as the numbers themselves. I have been learning English for a long time, as early as the age most Canadian starts learning French (maybe even ealier than that), I still speak broken Chinese English, which pisses me off especially in such an English dominant country. So are my friends and most non-native speakers I know. 1 billion, 1/3 world citizens, can they communicate in English after they learn it? Will they have the chance to use it? Maybe as one British official said, the only universal known English is 'F*ck' (he also mentioned 'Football', which is obviously debatable even within English speaking countries).

Many argument are made about the hegemony of English which will jeopardize culture diversity. I also doubt that. A vivid culture needs to grow and suck in new elements. If one language or one culture stays put, its destination is not far away. Basically, I do not agree to most culture purifiers or defenders. I remember my Chinese teacher in high school wanted to talk to me because I used such imported or new vocabulories as 'cool' in my paper. I am never afraid of using new words once I know how to use them properly and beautifully. It is sad that I cannot do this in English, a language which I still cannot even catch its tail. I hope someday I can also play with English as the way I play with Chinese.

Etopia, right, it is the title of this post. But it is just another language game, isn't it? I think many things in this world are made belive by the language/words we use/creat. Such a word, once broadly known, will frame our view of the world. Thus, I believe the society is basically a word-world system. Sorry, I am not a realist.

If you happen to finish reading this entry, I request you to teach me an English expression (of course, you can also leave comments). That would be highly appreciated.

Farewell, My Kids!

2005-04-04T20:51:00.000-04:00

Kids: Wéi, Can we get our papers back?
Me: Sure, but not right now. I will hand them back to you right before you are ready to leave this classroom.
Kids: haha...
Me: I have a request. This is our last class this term and probably the last time I am seeing you. You are my first students and I am so gonna miss you. Do you mind if I take pictures with you guys?
Kids: No, we would love to.
Me: You guys don't know how much we Chinese like taking pictures.
Kids: haha...Do we need to pile up?
Me: Up to you guys.
Together: Cheers.
Me: Hey, Jess, your fingers cover the lan.
Jess: No, of course not.
Together: haha...
Me: Good luck, guys.

Those whom I failed, please don't hate me.

Back-Off, MSN Messenger

2005-04-03T01:34:00.000-05:00

It is 1:35a.m. EST when I start writing this. The reason I stay up tonight is that I spent the past 4 hours searching software to check if anyone blocked or deleted me from their MSN messenger list. It sounds psychic in the first place. However, all I feel now is that I am pathetic.

I am shocked the fact that from some point I started to use technology to measure and judge people's relationships with me, rather than my intuitions. This kind of thing usually happens when people do not trust others, or rather say, themselves. A doubtful wife would hire a detective (which is a representitive of certain technology) to follow her partner and find out his affairs. I find some resemblance between this and my practice tonight. However, hiring a detective happens rarely, only in extreme situations, while checking messenger list and people's reaction to my appearance on line became routine.

If someone logs off right after I sign in, I would assume he/she is avoiding me;
If someone does not return my message for a long time, he/she is not liking me;
If someone is on line but set as 'busy', it is quite likely he/she does not like me at all. My assumption here is that if one is busy, why is one in MSN messenger. People go to MSN for chatting and enterntaining, right?
If the conversation with someone in messenger is not continuous (a response every minute or so), he/she is not taking me seriously.
If someone on my list never greets me in the first place, he/she does not care me at all.
...
If someone does not initiate a conversation for a long time, he/she must have already delete me.
If someone does not show up for a while, he/she probably has blocked me.

I have no idea how I do this, but I do read a lot from people's reaction to me in MSN messenger. It is frustrating sometimes. The instant messege technology does not facilitate my life, instead, it drives me into the crazy game of 'guessing' and 'detecting'. Technology reshaped my way of thinking. Originally, I only needed to use my eyes, ears, and other natural (but magic) senses. Then I started to employ technology as a dimension. Further more, the spy technologies are pursued and I sort of count on them. All my five (maybe six and seven) senses are put afterwards behind my mind.

Noticing all of these tech-maniacs, I cry for my 'life' back. When I say 'my life', I mean my natural and magical sensing system, I mean my eyes, my ears, my nose, my hands. I am not cyborg-phobic. I already paid fancy prices for my technology part and thus it is spoiled. Now I need to spend time with the intuition part of me. So back-off, technology.

Reading: From East to West: Odyssey of a Soul

2005-04-01T16:17:00.000-05:00

I started reading this book From East to West: Odyssey of a Soul while there was a chance for me to get to learn Critical Realism, a relatively new school of philosophy. It was not easy for me, at first, to accept Critical Realism for several reasons. First, I identify myself more as 'Constructionism' and 'Post-Modernism', whose ontology and epistemology are opposite to any 'Realism'. A second reason is the resemblance of Critical Realism and Marxism. After years of Marxism, I am getting bored of its theory. But Roy Bhaskar's From East to West, the fifth stage of Critical Realism, trencends its previous argument, close to Buddism, which I found peace while reading it. For the same reason, this book was critized by many other Critical Realists.

The structure of this book is also worth noting. The former part of this book is theory, while the rest is a novel about 15 lives of a soul, set from east to west, from ancient to modern. He uses novel to explain his new thoery, I think, is to acheive the horizontal self-realisation, which is to let the public and others to know his philosophy easlily.

The major argument of this book is that we human beings are god-like and free. However, because of attachment and aversion, we are illusioned. What we need to do is through action/inaction and learning to unveil and purify ourselves, thus, achieve self-realization and the god-like self. In addition, we need to achieve the universal integration through unconditional love.

Human bondage is characterised by avidya, maya, attachment and object referral; the desire to have, rather than to be (subject referral); the confusion of Self with possessions, money and so on; the failure to let go (the blocking of God-nature, dharma, soul force and spontaneous right action by heteronomous orders of determination and constraint, karma, excess baggage, and so on); and confusion over identity as much including self-identity, sexual identity and ambivalence over self, love, God and so on (Bhaskar,2000:108).

Critical Realism, in this sense, develops from a academic epistemology to a practical instruction. This is also the way Bhaskar unites the academic and the ordinary.

To trenscend different binaries, e.g., male/female, yin/yang, mind/body, east/west, etc, is the goal of Critical Realism. For this purpose, Bhaskar argues that god is ingredient in everything. So we are essentially the same (although we are also unique, which he reiterates in his book). The metaphor of 15 lives of a soul brodens our view of 'I'.

Hegel was very wise to see that 'I' indexes both someone unique, someone in particular and everyone and anyone at all (and does so in the same particular way)...We have all been rich and poor, male and female, oppressor and oppressed, and so on. Anyone can play any role in the holistic performence which is life, and a particular life in a particular Life in the odyssey of some particular, concretely singularised soul (Bhaskar, 2000: 102).

From this perspective, we are so small. Hence, we need to learn to forget our past and forgive. Because any resentment or attachment make no sense in the meta-history.

The division of east and west is the different focus of realization. In the east, a vertical real-realisation is ecouraged. That is from self to Self to God. A horizontal realisation is enforced in the west, which is to broadcast one's belief and influence others. Bhaskar creatively combine these two realisation together. However, his knowledge of Taoism, Zen and Buddhism is not very accure, at least no better than mine. Taosit, Zen, Buddhism belong to average people in the east, in their everyday practice while philosophy in the west is only confined in academic. Without noticing this, we cannot grasp the nature of yin/yang and the like, which I find myself getting close to from the practice of Chinese cooking.

To change the world, we should start from changing ourselves. To forget past, to accept ourselves, to forgive others, and in turn to love unconditionally. This theory contradicts from my discipline (which pushes me to think my position in the 15 lives), however, I do find peace in this book.

2005-04-01T00:39:00.000-05:00

MSN Messenger inspires Lebanese demonstrator

Boundary Up or Down

2005-03-31T20:53:00.000-05:00

The ball of today's seminal was kicked off by a project on Masterbation. The presenter was trying to look into how masterbation was considered a second rate sex and to question the boundary of sex and gender. By doing this, she brought up a concept 'ASEXUALITY', which was kind of new for me. It refers to people without particular sexual orientation, opposed to heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. At first, it was a hilarious term for me. After more than one thought, this term sounded ironic.

She meant to tear down the boundaries. However, she was actually building a new boundary in her work. Sometimes I think, one fascinating part of social science is actually to creat new categories, in which we can insert our explanation and creativity. By doing this, the society is misguided. Now we need to remedy the pains we brought to the society.

How can we remedy these? Not through bulding up more catergories (at least this is not a direct way). Instead, we should re-articulate and re-configure current categories and boundaries, to inform the public that there are actually no value difference between different categories, just like apple is no better or worse than pear.

Is this the history of social science: first building up boundaries and then tearing them down? Awsome, huh!

Torn

2005-03-29T17:52:00.000-05:00

When one feels excited and depressed at the same time, it is called 'torn'. That is exactly what I feel right now. So I decide to take this afternoon off and take down things that tear me apart.

A lot of things going through my mind were inspired by reading Horoswitz when I prepared for teaching student movements of 1970s in America. Horoswitz's description urged me to be creative, critical and even radical (though his argument is conservertive). It is exciting that my students felt the same way. One student actually came to me after class and told me he felt depressed by reading such materials because that made him lose balance, and faith in this world. The first thing I felt when I heard that was happiness. He was thinking like a sociologist, which was exciting for me. Besides confirming his talent and quality as a sociologist, I told him we kept criticing society neither to show how bad it is, nor for fun, instead, we did it for a better society. The best way to do that is to learn and understand the world anew, like a new-born baby. We need to put ourselves into a 'strange' and 'unfamiliar' situation to see how things going on. This kind of thought loops back to a novel I am reading, called The Disposesessed (which I would try to write a review when I finish). But to do this sometimes is not easy for researcher. It is like one needs to give up what he/she already has and starts all over again. That is at leat my case right now.

Another thing occurred to my mind is the domination of 9/11 discourse in my field of research. I used to take it without a doubt, like that way I take 1 plus 1 equals 2. Based on the above philosophy, I need to give it up and start to ponder why 9/11 really matters, any factors other than 9/11 contribute to the current condition of the world and etc. I see what I am doing, to destruct 9/11. But another truth is that I don't want such an American discourse to reign a field, or even a discipline, a whole world.

The most striking thing happened after I decided to pursue a totally different topic as my own project. I didn't realize its complexity until I talked to some faculty members. The excitement suddenly gave a way to depression. The struggle between faculty members are so sensitive that even a tiny change, such as the change of topic, the person you talk to, would light the fire. I do not want to explain the details. But I want my project to go on, as well as resources to support me and my project. Hopefully, I could find an 'easy' way to do that. But how?

Shave Bald For/On Easter

2005-03-28T09:27:00.000-05:00

On Easter, I shaved my hairs which I just hilited last month. A freak pays so much attention on hairs. Though I miss my hairs, I feel relived because I do not need to psycally worry about my hairs. Oops! It has been a long time since last time I wore bald.

Slap Me When I Talk Like This

2005-03-27T00:38:00.000-05:00

Most of my previous posts are about the science hegemony and my resistence to it. Look at the language I used in thoes posts, stuffed with 'ten-dollar' words. This kind of 'academic' and 'scientific' language also need to resist, if I really want to make my points. The writing style and the metophors I use should also stand out for my argument, besides being used simply as expressions. That is, if I were a killer, I wouldn't spend as many saliva as bullets. Bullets would be my words. Shazam, I finally understand Donnal Haraway and her special writing style. So next time when you see me using 'scientific' and 'academic' words, please slap me right on my face.

Wait a second. My logic here is sort of twisted and circular. First I said something. Then I said something against my former statements. Now I am circling back again. What am I thinking? Why do I spend sleeping time on such wierd thinking? Slap me again.

Well, just slap me whenever you see me.

Documentary:Super Size Me

2005-03-25T22:02:00.000-05:00

Inspired by Random Meanderings, I decided to watch Morgan Spurlock's Super Size Me, a documentary movie against fast food and its giant McDonald. My original suggestion was to have McDonald as dinner and then watch this movie. But my friend thought it 'unhealthy', so that we ended up having Greek lamb, which was very tasty by the way.

Morgan did a incredible experiment on himself by eating only McDonald's food (including water) continuously for 30 days. The ends justified, of course, his assumption that fast food is dangerous. He also interviewed different groups of population across the States to demonstrate how fast food, especially McDonald, are inappropriately marketed.

Who is to blame, but capitalism?! I will drop this issue, anyway.

One thing striked me when I watched this movie was another blindness of American people, including Morgan: the belief in science. Morgan's experient was witnessed by three doctors and their exams for him. American also develops a detailed list nutrition for the public to follow. If they fail to follow the list, they are leading an 'unhealthy' life. Children should do exercise for at least'30 minutes a day', if not, 'unhealthy'. Thoes who do not know what calorie is are in the category of danger as well. What is health to do with knowing about calorie. My mom has been having a wonderful life without even being informed anything about calorie. She is not fat, actually, quite slim. Calorie is just a tool of measure fat. What is the power of it? If I want to measure fat or heat, I can use anything, like to use apple or candle. How did these knowledge reshape our life, reform our standard of 'health' and 'good'?

I doubt the reliability of such knowledge. Going through the history of knowledge and science, nothing is stable and permenant. I am pretty sure that someday these knowledge would fall down. My major concern is how knowledge was indoctrined into our society and lives, and how we can resist it. Foucault suggests no need to fight agianst it but live with it. However, knowledge and science are so pervasive that they even shut down other choices. It is not we who live with them, instead, they are living us. We need to fight and get out of the box.

Seminal: Education and Citizenship in the Digital Age (by Darin Barney)

2005-03-25T01:43:00.000-05:00

Darin Barney's vision of technology refreshed my view. After reading Howard Rheingold's Smart Mobs: The next social revolution, I was pretty convinced that technology will empower 'the mobs' although I did feel that Rheingold was a little technological determinism. However, Barney's argument is quite opposite. For him, technology could be 'beneficial' or could be 'neutral'. The fact, as he argues, is that technology provides challenge to our society, specifically to humanity.

Barney's talk starts with the notion of citizenship. In his work, citizenship is republican/democratic citizenship, which emphasizes participation in public judgment as to ends. This theory, I would argue, is specific to western society. Although it is now used universally, it is reinforced into the eastern world. I recalled my friend's project on the public participation in the urban planning in Shanghai city. He travelled half the world from Canada to China to do this research. His finding was ambiguous, I think. On the one hand, his productivity came from the interviews with some 'angry' and 'radical' colledge students; on the other hand, the researcher himself felt 'the white domination' after he presented his finding to Shanghai government. Nevertheless, this notion of citizenship does develop in Chinese society, especially in college, no matter where and how it came. But this theory still needs to be examined, at least in Chinese society, to see its real influence. Barney's idea that citizenship needs to be cultivated could annihilate my argument. Unfortunately, the cultivation of citizenship and the necessity of citizenship are still quite 'western'.

Another interesting concept is 'technological society'. Technology becomes the setting of citizenship. In other words, such activities as economy, culture, education and etc are bound with technology, and they are reformed to fit into new technology. In such a society, technology means 'self-realization' and 'a good life'. In this sense, technology shuts down humanity. This argument is similar to my previous post on the relationship of humanity and science. However, deep in my heart, I still feel the power of 'smart mobs', who are not easy to deceived by technology. A good example will be Barhey himself. He was sitting there and presenting his critique of technology to a bunch of people who 'happened' to share the same idea. It was not a coincidence.

Education is another key word in Barney's presentation. For him, the real question should be asked about education is what kind of 'subjectivity' it cultivates or does not cultivate, instead of what skills are being instructed. Of course, to build in the capacity of using technology is important in order to augment the capacity of citizenship. The most important thing for education to do is to reopen the discussion of humanity: 'what is a good life'. There is no finite answer to this question. But the continuous thinking and exploring is a means of humanity.

I cannot say any more about this seminal. I really like his ideas and what he is doing. Below is his abstract of his work:

This talk investigates the role of education in addressing the challenges posed for citizenship by technology. Drawing on a republican theory of citizenship that emphasizes participation in public judgment as to ends, the chapter identifies three ways in which technology challenges citizenship: as potential means of citizenship practice; as a potential object of political judgment; and as the necessary setting of citizenship activity. I then proceed to examine possible educational responses to each of these challenges. These responses include technological facility, critical technological literacy and immersion in the humanities. It is argued that while the practical and epistemological contradictions between these responses are significant, the demands of citizenship in technological societies are such that an accommodation between them must be sought. I conclude by assessing the chances for such an accommodation in light of recent efforts to orient education more fully towards the perceived needs of “innovation” and the “knowledge” economy.

Don't Panic, China

2005-03-23T11:27:00.000-05:00

I did not notice the seriousness of the crack-down of several universities' Bulletin Boards on March 18 (including Tsinghua University, Peking University, and Nanjing University) until I read China Digital Times and Rebacca. Students at Tsinghua folded paper birds and gathered at field to express their grief.

These Bulletin Boards used to be open to the public now are only available to students from inside the campus. The government's action is based on several 'ridiculous' assumptions. First, they suppose the influence of elites in China and they assume that students from top universities are elites. This is partly right. Students with good educations and relatively abundant resources do have their own minds, considering the fact that most modern revolutions since last century started from students. Chinese society benifited from these revolutions. The govenment cannot stop them thinking but wants to keep these thoughts in the the 'Ivory Tower', so that people from outside cannot be 'enlightened'. Actually, they are much more smater people outside, who are more sophisticated and more responsible than the students. People don't need to be 'enlightened'. Instead, they decide the trend, rather than the government or students.

A second assumption of such action is technological determinism. The government notices the power of new technology, especially internet, which makes them believe that internet is the only medium for free communication (and the only medium they don't know how to fully control). We need to keep in mind that people can communicate as long as they feel the need, wheareas of the media. The intensify of control can only irritate some desperate people and thoes who are always against Chinese government.

According to this assumption, the government decides to 'de-virtualize' China. They know internet cannot be abandoned so all they can do are to block 'inappropriate' sites, to shut down public forums, and to connect virtual ID with its opponent in the physical world. From Danwei I heard this:

All students who still have access to the BBS will apparently have to register with their real names if they want to continue posting to the BBS.

Furthermore, China government is commanding all internet web sites to register(including personal web sites). In Issac's post Red Terrorism, he mentioned:

Another funny thing is that China government is commanding all internet web sites to register(including personal web sites)[via zheng]. If you have a web site hosting in China, e.g. abc.com, you should register under China gov central database first. They want to control the whole internet in this way, but I think it's so foolish they didn't understand how huge the web will be and the explosion of internet objects will eventually flood their stupid effort.

I am not sure if this has been enforced in China or not. But I cannot open my friends' blogs for a while. I hope their sites would be resumed soon.

Last but not the least, I wish both sides (government and students) would calm down and take more than one thougt of this event. We need a peaceful China, instead of blood and tears. Moreover, don't give opportunities to thoes who are against China.

Advices from A Sex Offender

2005-03-22T01:18:00.000-05:00

When I turned on TV as the background noise tonight, a 'terrific' piece of news from CNN attracted my attention: A sex offender sitting in the broadcasting room and having a talk show with the host. Again, the power of media. Even the crime was willing to do a personal show and looked quite calmed and sophisticated.

Another 'terrific' part happened when the host asked the offender to give advice to the parent audience. Once again, the offender did give out advices, like some expert invited to such a TV show. His advice for parents were:

Teach your children to keep boudaries and limits;
Teach the children to keep self-value;
Teach by example.

Well, even these advices are 'terrific', aren't they?

Fear of Humanity: A Side-Eeffect of Science

2005-03-21T23:42:00.000-05:00

'To Predict the world' was the project I assigned to my students tonight. We were discussing Holocaust and 'Sanctioned Massacres' during wars, especially in the second world war. After reading Niall Ferguson's article Sinking Globalization, which compares current world condition with that before the first world war, we started to discuss the possibility of a third world war. Hopefully, most of students thought it was not likely to break out a world war for a while because different powers in the current world were still woven together. For the same reason, there is no stable allience system in the world (there are different opinions within NATO regarding such issues as war against Iraq).

Ferguson's argument is conservative and capitalism-centered. It is also funny that he compares Al Qaeda to Bolsheviks, and Osama bin Laden to Lenin:

Like the Bolsheviks in 1914, these Islamist extremists are part of an underground sect, struggling to land more than the occasional big punch on the enemy. But what if they were to get control of a wealthy state, the way Lenin, Trotsky, and company did in 1917? How would the world look if there were an October Revolution in Saudi Arabia? True, some recent survey data suggest that ordinary Saudis are relatively moderate people by the standards of the Arab world. And high oil prices mean more shopping and fewer disgruntled youths. On the other hand, after what happened in Tehran in 1979, no one can rule out a second Islamist revolution. The Saudi royal family does not look like the kind of regime that will still be in business ten years from now. The only monarchies that survive in modern times are those that give power away.

If there were a world war, it would still be a war between capitalism and conmunism according to Ferguson's article. The truth is, however, that Islamic extremists like Osama bin Laden are simply agianst the United States' arrogant foreign policy rather than its capitalism. The difference between Lenin and Osama bin Laden is that the latter is not as constructive as the former though they are both destructive and desperate. Lenin did build another powerful system while it is not promising considering what bin Laden has done so far and declares to do in future.

Back to the issue of holocaust. I was wondering how such horrible practices would happen. How could they think of erasing a whole race or religion? And how could they really murder their fellow human beings? It is argued that through 'authorization', 'routinization', and 'dehumanization' this practice becomes possible. We have heard a lot about the mis-categorization and stereotype of human groups, so is argument agianst authority. Thus, I am going to focus on the process of routinization.

Routinization is with the rise of science and reason. In other words, the development of science and the emphasize of ration gave birth to 'procedure' and 'routine'. However, the development of reason has its own medicine. Routinization actually stripps agents off their own decisions. All they need to do is to follow the routine and the procesure. In the battlefield, soldiers kill according to how they are trained. The same thing happens in different disciplines. Following the routine, on the one hand, embodies 'the professional', and on the other hand, decontexturizes unique events. The fear of humanity and personal feelings suffice in the modern society.

How can we stay professional and keep our reasons at the same time? That reminds me of my student's question: why are sociologists interested in the issue holocaust. Before we are social researchers, or economists, or politician, we are first of all human beings with emotions and reasons. Don't be afraid of our humanity. It is not going to take us back. Last but not the least, without being a sophisticated human being, it is impossible to be a good researcher/economist/politician.

Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

2005-03-19T11:02:00.000-05:00

My words are overwhelmed by this song Everybody's Free. It is from the album of Something For Everybody by director and composer Baz Luhrmann. My friend gave me this song at Christmas. What a pity that I do not get to listen to it carefully untill now.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99, wear sunscreen.If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked…. You're not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind…the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children,maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

Can you walk by without me grabbing you

2005-03-18T15:35:00.000-05:00

Beaver Tail

Rebirth

2005-03-18T01:30:00.000-05:00

This site is a rebirth after I quit blogging for a while. During this silent period of time, a lot of things have been going through my mind. Although most of them are personal issues, they all unfluence my view of the world and the current events happening out there. There is a need to express myself.

In today's seminal, we got to touch the topic of 'value-free' in 'scientific' disciplines. 'Value-free' has been deemed a significant principle of science and reason even since Aristotle. It is more emphasized in the modern society. However, in practice value-free is hardly possible although it is pursued by many people. With different opinions and attitudes, however, the world would actually be complete. It is also evident that we are making judgement all the time, from the clothes we pick today, to the coffee we drink, to the weather we encounter. We are bound with attitudes. Why do we fear showing them?

Being anti-'value-free', I am becoming a rebel. Moreover, the idea of 'rebel code' is also from the song by Chumbawamba:

Rebel Code

Dreaming that you're quietly driving by
Waking, wiping sleep out of your eyes
Watching firey cocktails in the sky
Rebel code, rebel code
Huddled in the cellars underground
They're tapping out a code to bring you down
Hacking into every home in town
Rebel code, rebel code
(Chorus)
One mic, three chords, our memories stored
Rebel code
One song, two words, no chance to get bored
Rebel code
Stalin waits forever at the gate
We simplify, we complicate
The urge to break, the need to recreate
Rebel code, rebel code
Changing everything that they were taught
Alcohol and fire and ones and noughts
Something in the water and the bones
Rebel code, rebel code
(Repeat chorus)